


Finding Light Within the Darkness

by Klainelover1997



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Year (Once Upon a Time), Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klainelover1997/pseuds/Klainelover1997
Summary: Completely broken and depressed, Regina doesn’t know what to do with herself after making the heartbreaking decision to return to the Enchanted Forest without Henry. She’s spiraling into the darkness again and she desperately needs someone to save her from herself.  She needs someone to help her find the light within the darkness. Luckily, a certain thief seems to be up to the job.*A Missing Year Fic*
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Robin Hood
Comments: 21
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have always wondered what really went on between Regina and Robin Hood during the Missing Year, so this is my interpretation. During this stressful time, we all deserve an escape so I decided to publish this story that I hope all of you will enjoy and look forward to. I plan on posting a chapter a week. Every Wednesday! I am a nurse and currently working on the frontlines of this COVID 19 pandemic so I apologize in advance if I'm ever late posting a chapter. Anyway, please enjoy this fic. It's about to be one crazy ride!

As the magical, purple smog cleared and the familiar view of the dense, wooded landscape of the Enchanted Forest came into view, Regina felt her heart drop into her stomach. Watching Henry and Emma walk away had nearly killed her. She had told them to leave, and while she knew that was what needed to be done, it didn’t subdue the burning, acidic taste that she felt as the words left her mouth. The whole experience had felt like a bad dream, one that Regina was ready to wake up from. All that she wanted was to find Henry, pull him into her arms, and hold him until the end of time. But, that wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t possible, not anymore. 

“Snow, what happened?” came the panicked voice of Aurora. 

“We’re back,” the princess informed her, sadness evident in her voice. That was the truth. They were back. Storybrooke and everything that she had built there was gone. It was enough to make Regina physically sick to her stomach. Snow and David continued to talk to Aurora and Phillip about the changes that this land had endured over the last thirty years, but Regina felt the need to walk away. She couldn’t stand to listen to the four of them catch up like this was some big family reunion. This wasn’t a happy occasion.

“You and your friends are welcome in our kingdom,” Phillip told them. “If you need anything, we’re at your service.” 

“Thank you,” David replied. “But all we need is horses. We have our own kingdom, our own castle.” 

“Our castle was destroyed in the curse,” Snow reminded him. 

“Well played, your majesty. You laid waste to everything,” the pirate quipped at her. Regina narrowed her eyes at him and sent him a death glare. She was dealing with enough without having that rotten pirate rub her nose in her mistakes. 

“Not everything. Her castle still stands,” Aurora interjected. 

“Of course it does. I protected it.” 

“Well technically, the castle doesn’t belong to her,” David snapped. “It was Snow’s before she took it.” 

“Well, to be fair,” Regina began. “I married into it.” 

“That you did,” Snow said as she turned around to face her stepmother. “And, now, we’re taking it back…and you are coming with us.” 

Regina scoffed. “You can’t be serious.”

“Regina, everyone out there is scared and confused. They need hope. What better way to do that than to return united. You’re coming with us. I know you don’t like it. You’ll learn to, for our good…for yours.” Regina wanted to fight back, to tell Snow blatantly to her face that she wasn’t coming, but she just didn’t have it in her. Without Henry, it felt as though her will to fight had been stripped from her, leaving her feeling weak, helpless, and hopeless. The Charmings could do what they wanted. Take her castle. Force her to go with them. She simply didn’t care anymore. 

After saying goodbye to Aurora and Phillip, Snow and David gathered everyone up. They informed them of the plan to head to the Queen’s castle and then began walking. They’d have to move quickly if they wanted to make it there by dark. As they continued to walk, Regina felt her chest growing tighter by the minute and sharp, shooting pains radiated out from the area where her heart was. The pain, the hurt, was overwhelming. When she couldn’t take it any longer, Regina broke away from the group and wandered off into the forest, praying to find a private spot to break down. She disappeared behind a large oak tree and felt her knees begin to buckle. She fell onto the dirt-covered forest floor and didn’t even care that she was getting her dress dirty. Acting like this wasn’t like her. She wasn’t one to let her emotions take complete control over her. Yet again, she had never lost her son before either.

Tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes and Regina tried everything to keep them at bay. She couldn’t do this anymore. Without even thinking, Regina plunged her hand deep inside her chest and pulled out her heart. It was somewhat blackened, the aftermath of the mistakes of her past and it almost looked swollen, aching from the pain of never being able to see her son again. However, with the organ no longer inside of her chest, Regina felt herself begin to breathe once more. The tears that had been threatening to cascade from her eyes lessened and she was able to regain control over herself. The pain was still there, but it was much duller without her heart beating in her chest. She knew if she were to go on that she couldn’t do it with her heart inside of her. From her position on the ground, she reached out beside her and grabbed a sharp stick that had broken off the tree above her and began to dig in the dirt. Surely no one would think to look for her heart in such an insignificant patch of the forest. It would be safe. And maybe, just maybe, one day she’d be able to return her heart to its rightful position in her chest. As she continued to dig, she heard footsteps approaching her from behind. 

“What are you doing?” came Snow's worried voice. 

“So, now, you’re following me?” Regina replied with a sigh. 

“We were worried and it looks like we were right to be. What are you burying?” 

“Nothing that concerns you,” she growled back in response. 

“Why does that make me think it does? What have you done? Is that a heart?” 

“Go away!” She continued to dig furiously in the dirt as Snow grilled her with questions. 

“That’s your heart, isn’t it?” the princess questioned, a look of pity engraved on her face. 

Regina looked away. “I’m not having this conversation with you.” 

“I know you miss Henry…” Snow began. Just hearing his name made Regina’s heart begin to ache and tears once again sprang to her eyes. 

“Not as much as I did when that was still beating in my chest,” Regina replied as she placed her heart in the shallow hole and covered it with a thin layer of dirt. 

“But, Regina, this isn’t the answer. No matter how much pain you may feel, you can’t just bury it in the woods!” 

“Watch me!” she snapped as she stood up from the ground and dusted her hands off. 

“You won’t feel better,” Snow chastised. “You won’t feel anything.” 

“That’s the point!” Regina exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. “I can’t keep walking around knowing that I’ll never see Henry again… that he doesn’t even remember who I am.” 

“I know exactly how you’re feeling,” the princess replied as she walked forward and took Regina’s hands into her own. “I just said goodbye to my daughter for the second time…Henry too. But I promise you, it will get better. With that.” she added, pointing towards Regina’s buried heart. “Right now, it might be causing you pain, but I promise you, it will let you feel something else soon enough.” 

“What’s that?” 

“That one thing Henry always wanted you to find…happiness.” 

“I can’t be happy without him,” Regina replied blatantly. 

“Find a way,” Snow told her. “…for Henry.”

Regina knew that Snow was right. For too long, she had run from her emotions instead of dealing with them. For God's sake, that was how she had ended up creating Storybrooke in the first place. For years, she had suppressed the heartache and grief that she felt for Daniel and let it fester into anger and a thirst for revenge that consumed every fiber of her being. For a woman with a high physical pain threshold, she had a surprisingly low tolerance for emotional pain.

Hesitantly, Regina knelt down and dusted off the thin layer of dirt covering her heart. Even just holding it in her hands, Regina felt her pain begin to intensify. Despite what her heart was telling her to do, which was to run away, Regina plunged the organ back into her chest. She gasped as the pain instantly returned to her body and the grief that she had been feeling washed over her once more. With tears in her eyes, Regina tried to stand up tall and pretend like she was alright. 

“Now…let’s go get our castle,” she proclaimed, trying to remain strong as the emotional pain continued to eat away at her. Not able to look at Snow’s sympathetic face any longer, Regina began to walk away, leaving the princess behind her. As she walked away, she heard rustling in the bushes and then a large gust of wind blew through the trees. 

“Did you hear that?” Snow asked, panic evident in her voice. “There was something there…in that bush.” Regina walked back over and pushed back the branches, looking for the cause of the rustling and sudden gust of wind. 

“There’s nothing here. Unless it flew away…” 

“It did!” Snow exclaimed, looking up at the sky where a mysterious creature could be seen coming right towards them. “We need to find cover,” she added, trying to pull Regina with her to safety. 

“No,” Regina replied defiantly, pulling her arm from Snow’s grasp. “I don’t run from monsters. They run from me.” She conjured a fireball in her palm and hurled it towards the beast. However, it was too fast and was able to dodge the blast of magic easily while continuing to fly towards them. Caught off guard by her magic failing her, Regina stepped back and in the process rolled her ankle, sending her plummeting to the ground. 

“Regina!” Snow yelled. The beast flew closer and wrapped its large talons around her wrist and began to fly upward, pulling the Queen along with it. Regina batted at the creature as Snow tried to pull her back to the ground with all of her might. Eventually, the beast lost its grasp and its talon scraped down Regina’s arm before she plummeted to the ground. “It’s too fast!” Snow stated. 

“I’m open to suggestions.” 

Suddenly a voice came from behind them and commanded them to “get down!” Snow and Regina did as they’re told, bracing themselves for another attack from the mysterious flying creature, but instead, an arrow soared above their heads, impaling the beast, making it screech in pain and fly away. After breathing a sigh of relief, Regina tried to push herself up when an unexpected hand became available to her. “Milady…” The man began. “You’re injured,” he observed, looking down at her arm which was dripping with blood from the laceration caused by the beast. 

“It’s ‘Your Majesty,’’ she snapped. “And I’m fine.”

“A simple ‘thank you’ would suffice,” the man countered. 

“We didn’t ask for your help.” Regina retorted as she pushed herself up from the ground, ignoring their rescuers help entirely. 

“Well, I’m grateful for the assistance,” Snow interjected as she took the man’s hand and used him to help her stand up. 

“Robin. Robin of Locksley,” the man said, introducing himself. “…and these are a few of my Merry Men.” 

“Snow White.” 

“At last we meet,” Robin replied. “You know, there was a time when our faces graced wanted posters side by side.” 

“If you’re really Snow White, why are you with her?” a larger man with long curly brown hair asked gruffly. 

“Her?” Regina questioned. “Show some respect…or at least some restraint at the buffet,” she added, taking note of the man’s oversized stomach. 

“You’ll have to excuse Little John,” Robin said, trying to diffuse the tension. “But before you cursed this land, we spent many a day running from your black knights.” 

“Well, I’m sure you deserved it.” Regina turned around and looked back up into the canopy of trees, analyzing the area for any signs that the beast might be returning. “What the hell was that thing?” 

“I have no idea. We’ve never encountered the likes of it before.” 

Suddenly, they heard screeching off in the distance. “Come on. This way,” Snow prompted, leading the group out of the forest. “We need to warn the others.”

They walked through the forest and within a few minutes, joined up with David and the rest of the group back on the main road. After Regina’s unexpected detour, they needed to continue moving towards the castle if they wanted to be there by nightfall. Snow insisted that Regina walk at the front of the group with her and David, mostly because she wanted to keep watch over Regina to make sure that she didn’t try to do anything drastic again. Robin and his men joined in with the back of the group where they easily fit in and began talking with Neal and Belle, who they seemed to have a history with. While walking, Regina turned and looked over her shoulder at the thief. She had to admit, he was pretty handsome. Nevertheless, he was a thief and he was not to be trusted. 

“So what do you think of our new friend?” Regina asked Snow. “Can we trust him? He is a thief.” 

“Think of it from his perspective. How do you think he looks at you?” Snow countered. 

“Point taken.”

“He’s kind of cute, huh?” Snow suggested, a smirk on her face. 

“He smells like forest,” Regina replied, her face screwed up in disgust as she tried to hide her apparent attraction towards the thief. Luckily, before Snow could say another word, the familiar sight of her castle came into view. 

“Look!” David announced. 

“What happened?” Snow asked. 

“That’s exactly what I’m about to find out,” Regina announced as she walked up to the barrier line surrounding the castle. She held her hand up to it gently and instantly, she could feel a strong magic surge through her as a large green forcefield projected around the entire castle. “Protection spell. The entire castle’s encircled by it.”

“Didn’t you do this? Undo it,” David demanded. 

Regina rolled her eyes. “Well, don’t you think if I couldn’t I’d be halfway home by now? No. Someone hijacked it.” 

“Who? Who’s in there?” Snow questioned. 

“I don’t know,” Regina began with a sigh. “But I’m gonna find out whoever’s eating my porridge. Nobody sits in my chair. Nobody takes our castle.” She began to feel the anger build within in her chest. How dare someone break into her castle? 

“Hey, we’ve got a lot of people looking to us. They’re scared and rightfully so. Let’s get them to safety first,” David interjected. 

“They’ll be safe when whoever’s in there is dead.” Regina snapped, feeling the anger bubble inside of her. 

“Rushing in there is a bad plan, Regina. You know that.” Snow scolded. 

“I can offer a safe harbor in Sherwood Forest. It’s not far. We can offer food, shelter and a thick canopy no creature will spy you under,” Robin offered as he came forward from out of the group. 

“Do you have weapons?” David asked. 

“We’re lousy with them.” 

“Fine. Lead the way. But we’re coming back. And whoever did this…is going to suffer.” Regina said. 

“Regina, it’s our home. We’ll make it safe again,” Snow told her. With the plan set, Regina had no other option than to follow all the Charmings back to the thief's camp. She’d play along for now but make no mistake, she fully intended on returning tonight, no matter what to make sure that she took back what was rightfully hers. The person inside her castle was going to pay. She’d make sure of that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After discovering that someone's taken over her castle, Regina is determined to get it back. However, a certain thief is willing to let her do it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's chapter 2! I hope that you all enjoy! Feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you guys think! I love hearing from you all!

With nightfall approaching quickly, the group started making their way towards Sherwood Forest.

“Seems like old times, doesn’t it?” Red said to Snow. “Except not running from Regina, but with her.” 

“She’s changed. I have to believe for the better,” Snow replied. 

“I hope it sticks. But regardless, she doesn’t look too good.” Snow looked over at Regina. She could tell that she wasn’t present. She was sure that her mind was somewhere far away. She could see the pain on Regina’s face. Yes, she had lost Emma, but she still had David. Snow knew that Regina felt completely alone without Henry. “If she hadn’t tried to hurt us so many times, I might be worried about her,” Red commented. 

“I’ll talk to her,” Snow replied before walking back down the path towards Regina. “You ready to make camp soon, Regina?” she asked. The woman didn’t reply. “You thinking about Henry?” 

“I’m always thinking about Henry…” Regina replied. “but I was also thinking, there are tunnels that run under the castle. They may run beneath the spell.” 

“Which means we can sneak an army inside,” David interjected. 

“An army would be detected,” Regina told him.

“So, how do the tunnels help us?” Snow asked. 

“Because it can get  _ me  _ inside,” she clarified. “And, if I can get inside, then I can lower the shield. Then, you can send in your army.”

David was about to reply when loud screeches were heard overhead. The flying beast from before was back. 

“Incoming!” Neal yelled as the beast flew quickly, trying to attack anything that got in its way. Watching the beast fly, Regina realized that it was headed straight for the thief’s son. 

“Papa!” The little boy screamed in fear. 

“Roland!” Regina heard Robin yell as he tried frantically to reach his son in time. She knew that there was no chance of Robin reaching the little boy. Without even thinking about it, her motherly instincts took over and Regina felt herself running forward, scooping the little boy into her arms and pulling him to safety before the monkey could sink his talons into him. Regina set the little boy off to the side and then turned her attention back to the creature. She had had enough of the winged beast. 

“Not so fast,” She growled as she held her hand up and transformed the beast into a stuffed monkey. It wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone now. Meanwhile, Robin ran past her and pulled his son into his arms. He held the little boy tightly to his chest, savoring every moment and thanking God that he wasn’t hurt.

“See. Not so scary,” Regina began as she walked over to the father and son. “Now you have a new toy,” she added as she handed the stuffed monkey over to the little boy. Roland graciously took the toy and cuddled it tightly to his chest before nestling his head into his father’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Robin said to Regina. The Queen gave the thief a soft smile and then turned her back to him. Though the thief hadn’t done anything to her, Regina couldn’t bear to look at father and son…together and happy. It felt like a knife through her heart.

“What the hell was that thing?” David asked, breaking the silence. 

“The same kind of monster that attacked us on our journey here,” Snow told him. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say it looked an awful lot like a monkey,” Grumpy observed. 

“A monkey with wings?” David questioned. 

“Yes, that’s exactly what it was,” Regina replied, the realization finally hitting her. She only knew of one place that had creatures like these. She’d never encountered them before today, but she had surely heard of them. 

“Okay, you’re acting like that’s normal,” Neal replied dryly. 

“Actually, it is,” Belle interjected. “But not here. There’s only one land that has creatures like that. I’ve read about it. Oz.” 

“Oz?” Snow questioned. “That’s a real place?” 

“The bookworm’s right. It’s quite real. And if our simian friend is any indication, then I think we know exactly who’s taking up residence in our castle…The Wicked Witch,” Regina said. 

“We talkin East or West?” Grumpy asked. 

“Does it matter? Neither one sounds good,” Snow told him. 

“One you drop a house on. The other you toss a bucket of water at,” Grumpy added, still trying to make his point.

“So Regina, what are we up against here?” David asked. “Besides green skin and a pointy hat, what did you do to her?” 

“This time nothing,” Regina replied. “Never met her.” 

“This isn’t a personal vendetta,” David said. “Shocking. Okay then, Oz aside, we stick to the original plan. Arm up, then attack. Assuming you can get the shield down.” 

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Regina assured him harshly.

“I’m coming with you,” Snow added. 

“No, this is a one-woman job.” 

“Well, it’s the Wicked Witch. She has flying monkeys…who knows what else.” 

“I don’t care if the lollipop guild is protecting her. I can lower the shield on my own,” Regina snapped. Seeing that she wasn’t going to be able to change Regina’s mind, Snow stopped trying to join her stepmother. 

“Then, we’ll be waiting for you on the other side,” Snow told her. “In the meantime, we should get everyone to Sherwood Forest so that they’re safe.” 

“I couldn’t agree more,” David said. “Robin, can you lead the way?” 

“Of course,” the thief replied. “Our camp is just a few miles this way. Once we’re there, I’ll have Little John cook up some of the best food you've ever had.” 

“That’s a pretty big claim,” Grumpy mumbled quietly. “Nothing beats Granny’s breakfast casserole and bacon.”

Ignoring the dwarf’s comment, the group followed Robin through the forest and the camp came into view. It wasn’t much: just a few tents, supplies for cooking and plenty of weapons, but it would definitely do for the night.

“Please, make yourselves at home. We don’t have enough tents for everyone, but we’ve got plenty of blankets and it’s not supposed to be that cold tonight,” Robin told them.

After that, everyone fell into their roles naturally. Granny and Red assisted Little John in cooking dinner while Grumpy and his brothers started to set up beds for everyone and Belle and Neal went in search of firewood. Regina sat off to the side.

She felt like she should be helping, but she just didn’t have it in her to move from her seated position on a log. As the day went on, Regina felt herself missing Henry more and more. Dealing with that much grief was exhausting. She was just so tired. Suddenly, it hit her. A sleeping curse. That was the answer. She had been working on the spell for some time now and had finally managed to make one of her own…one that only Henry would be able to break.

If she were asleep, then she wouldn’t have to feel this pain. She’d be able to find peace until hopefully one day, Henry would wake her and they could be together once more. There was only one problem. All of the necessary ingredients for the spell were in her castle. Now, more than ever, she needed to get inside and bring down the protection spell.

“Your Majesty…” she heard, which pulled her from her thoughts. It was the thief. 

“What is it?” she snapped. 

“I was just hoping to take a look at that arm. That’s a nasty cut you’ve got.” 

“As I told you before, it’s fine.” Robin didn’t seem to want to take no for an answer. He sat down next to her on the log and pulled up her sleeve to reveal the angry, red cut. “It’s fine,” Regina growled, trying to pull her arm from his grasp. 

“Are you always this stubborn?” Robin asked, frustration written across his face. 

“Only when men don’t do as they're told.” 

“Well, I’ve never been one for rules,” Robin told her. “Now, your arm,” he commanded. Regina sighed. The thief was persistent, she had to give him that. She extended her arm towards him and let Robin take a look. 

“This may sting a little,” Robin warned her as he poured some alcohol on a rag and applied it to her cut. Instantly, Regina hissed in pain as the alcohol sank into her cut, burning her. “There. All done,” Robin said. “Now, I’m just going to wrap it up.” 

“Make a habit of patching up women in need?” Regina asked. 

“Not really, mostly large burly men who either hurt themselves during a heist or make poor decisions after having their fair share of whiskey. I’ve also bandaged my fair share of scraped knees,” he added with a smile as he looked over at Roland playing Neal. 

“He’s cute. How old is he?” she asked. 

“He’ll be four in April,” Robin replied. “Do you have children?”

Just like that, Regina felt her protective walls go up. “You know I’m feeling pretty tired. I think I’ll turn in for the night,” Regina replied softly. “Thanks for the bandage.”

Robin watched the woman walk away. Clearly, he had struck a nerve with her. Despite her harsh and demeaning exterior, Robin could see a woman who was hurting, a woman who was trying her hardest to guard her vulnerabilities. He just had a bad feeling when he looked at her and he intended to keep an eye on her. 

After nightfall, everyone turned in but Robin stayed up to keep watch. Around midnight, he heard rustling and instantly woke up to ward off any threats coming their way.

However, he didn’t hear anything coming towards them. If anything, the rustling sounded like it was getting further and further away. He looked around the camp and not surprisingly, the Queen was missing.

Worried about what she might do, Robin decided to follow her. He stood a safe distance away, watching as Regina made her way through the forest. He watched as she stopped suddenly and held her hands up to a huge boulder. He was surprised when the boulder began to float into the air. He hadn’t realized that Queen’s magic was so powerful.

For the first time since they had met, Robin saw a smile come across her face. He couldn’t help but smile as he watched her. Something was intriguing about her, despite what he knew about her past. Wanting to get a bit closer, Robin took a few steps forward and winced as his foot stepped on a branch and the crack echoed through the forest.

Hearing the noise, Regina jumped and the boulder came crashing down towards the ground. She turned around and Robin could see her cheeks grow red when she saw him.

“No,” she said bluntly. 

“No what?” Robin replied coyly. 

“You’re not.” 

“Not coming along, I do believe I am. I can help,” he replied. 

“I didn’t ask for help.”

Robin rolled his eyes. It was very clear that Regina didn’t ever ask for help. 

“Well, that doesn’t mean you won’t need it. That flying monkey wasn’t after my son. It was coming after _ you _ ,” he told her. After enduring two attacks from that beast, Robin had made an observation and it was that Regina was the intended target for both. 

Regina scoffed. “What makes you think that?” 

“The woods are my home,” he began. “I’ve seen many a hunter stalk its prey and that beast was coming for you. Roland just happened to be standing in between.” 

“Your point?” 

“That’s the second time you’ve been attacked,” he reminded her. “The Wicked Witch wants you dead.” 

“And what? You think you can stop her if she tries to hurt me?” 

“Maybe. Maybe not…but I have to try. You see, despite the fact that neither of us likes it, I owe you a debt.” 

“And why is that?” she questioned. 

“Even though that winged beast wasn’t after Roland, he still could have hurt my son. You saved him.” 

“Hmm, who knew a thief had honor?” 

“Who knew an Evil Queen had a soft spot for children?” he shot back. 

She sighed. “Don’t get in my way.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” he retorted with a smirk, adding a curtsey for good measure. Regina rolled her eyes and continued through the forest. After walking for a while, they came to a cave hidden amongst a grove of trees. Regina pulled back a few branches and walked inside, Robin trailing behind her. She conjured a torch and lit it with one of her fireballs before handing it to Robin. 

“Here. Make yourself useful.” 

“So where are we headed?” Robin asked, taking the torch from her. 

“There’s a fire in the courtyard that powers her spell. As long as it burns, the shield will stay up,” she explained. 

“Then, we simply need to put it out.” 

“ _ I _ simply need to put it out. you need to stay out of my way,” Regina clarified.

Suddenly, Robin noticed that the normal cave floor looked different and Regina placed her arm in front of him. “Step in between,” she ordered. 

“Nice little surprise.” 

“For keeping people like you out.” 

“People like me?” he questioned. 

“Thieves.”

Robin chuckled lightly. “Ah yes, true. But we aren’t all bad, you know.” 

“Not when you tell yourself you’re stealing from the rich to give to the poor. I may have done bad things in my life, but at least I own it,” she shot back. 

“I own my mistakes too,” he replied firmly. He was getting a bit frustrated with her attitude. “I hope you didn’t let me come with you just so you could walk me into one of these traps. Roland’s already lost his mother. I would hate for him to lose his father, too.”

Robin watched Regina’s eyes soften but he knew she wouldn’t let too many of those walls come down. 

“Well you should have stayed with the others,” she told him with a smirk. “Roland’s mother…” she began softly. “What happened to her?”

“After our boy was born, I inadvertently put her in harm’s way. It was my fault. Like I said, I own my mistakes.”

Before Regina could reply, she noticed that the door that led to her mother’s crypt was open. 

“That’s not possible.” 

“What wrong?” Robin asked. 

“The door! It’s open.” 

“Perhaps you left it unlocked,” he suggested

“I sealed it with blood magic,” she snapped. “I’m the only one who can open it.” 

“Clearly not. It appears the Wicked Witch is a formidable foe.” Regina walked through the door and Robin followed close behind. He examined the room around him. The walls were plated with gold and appeared to be full of drawers of some sort. In the center of it, was a large stone coffin. “What exactly was this place? Must have been important for you to seal it by blood.” 

“A crypt. Isn’t that obvious?” 

“Yes. What I meant was, who was it built for?” Robin clarified. 

“My mother. Like you, I’ve lost people I care about…more than I’d like to admit.” 

“Including a child?” Robin questioned, instantly regretting his words as he watched the Queen’s face fall. 

“What do you know about that?” she asked, her voice laced with pain. 

“I saw the way you grabbed Roland back there. Clearly, you have the touch of a mother.” 

“I do,” Regina replied sadly. 

“He’s not with us on this trek. What happened to him?”

“He’s not dead if that’s what you think. He’s just lost to me forever,” she replied. 

“If the Wicked Witch is powerful enough to break blood magic, perhaps we should reconsider this plan,” Robin suggested, trying to change the subject. 

“I don’t care how powerful this witch is. I have to go through with this plan,” Regina said. She led the two of them from her mother’s crypt upstairs where all of the bedrooms were. They entered a large room, which Robin figured must have been Regina’s chambers.

“Make yourself useful. Keep watch,” she ordered as she grabbed a box from her armoire and slipped off her gloves. She set it down on her dresser and began looking through it.

Robin didn’t have a great feeling. If they were meant to be in the courtyard, why were they upstairs looking through vials? If Robin had learned anything from his past, nothing good came inside a little vial. 

“What is that?” he questioned. 

“Nothing that concerns you.” Feeling a bit nervous, Robin drew his bow and pointed it at the Queen. 

“I won’t ask you again,” he replied forcefully. 

“How dare you threaten me in my own castle!” She yelled as she turned around hastily, put her hand in the air and began to choke him. 

“Even if you choke the life out of me, this arrow will still leave my bow. Trust me, I never miss,” he choked out. “Now, what manner of dark potion are you making?” Regina simply rolled her eyes and released Robin’s throat. 

“A sleeping curse,” she said before turning her back towards him and once again going through the vials. 

“The kind you used on Snow White?” he replied hoarsely. 

“That spell came from Maleficent. I finally learned how to make one of my own,” she explained, continuing to mix the contents of the vials. 

“This spell…this was why you wanted to come to the castle?”

“Ingredients like this are hard to come by, especially when you have Snow White breathing down your neck every second of the day.” 

“That was your plan? To use it on the witch?” Robin asked, still not seeing what Regina planned to use the sleeping curse for. 

“The witch?” she scoffed. “I don’t care about her.” 

“Then, who do you plan to use it on?” 

“Don’t worry. No one you’ll miss…No one anyone will miss.” She pulled out one of her hairs and placed it in the vial before making it glow with a wave of her hand. Suddenly, everything made sense. He should have known all along. A woman with as much pain as Regina wouldn’t think of hurting others when she, herself, was hurting so much. 

“This is about your son, isn’t it? I can’t let you do this,” Robin said as he moved closer to Regina. 

“It’s a good thing you don’t have a say in the matter,” Regina said before using her magic to plant Robin’s feet to the ground. 

“I know how you feel, Regina,” He said, still struggling to move his feet. 

“I doubt that.” 

“When I lost my wife, I felt that there was no reason to go on. But then I found one…my son.” 

“That’s where you and I are different. I already lost Henry. I already lost the one thing I care about,” she answered sadly. 

“That doesn’t mean you won’t find a new reason. We all get second chances, Regina. You just have to open your eyes to see it.” 

“It’s too bad mine will be closed.” 

“So that’s it! You just want to give up!” he shouted. It made him angry that a woman as beautiful, with so much promise as Regina, would just throw her life away. 

“This isn’t an end,” she told him. “It’s an eternal middle. This curse can be broken…by the only true love in my life. And the only reason I would even want to wake.” She sniffled, tears coming to her eyes. “My son.” 

“Regina, listen to me,” Robin tried. “This is a mistake.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep my word,” she informed him. “I’ll lower the protection spell so Snow and Charming can be victorious…but then, then I go to sleep,” she added before walking away, leaving Robin still trapped to the floor.

He continued to fight as he watched the woman walk away. That was it. He had failed. He had set out tonight hoping to protect the Queen from others. However, Robin realized that he had completely missed the one person who could do some real damage to Regina…herself. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving Robin in her chambers, Regina heads off to bring down the protection spell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope that you are all doing well and are healthy and safe! Enjoy the chapter!

After leaving the thief in her chambers, Regina headed to the courtyard to lift the protection spell. She walked through the dark corridors until the light green flame came into view. She walked up to the fire and with a wave of her hand extinguished the flame. It almost seemed too easy, but Regina honestly didn’t care. With the protection spell down, she could leave the Charmings to take over the castle and she could finally find some peace. With a sigh, she walked over to a bench in the courtyard and took a seat. “I’m sorry, Henry. Maybe one day, you’ll find me and wake me up, but until then…” she began as she moved the needle towards her finger. Just before the needle touched the tip of her finger, a voice stopped her. 

“You weren’t even going to say hello first? That’s not exactly the welcome I was expecting. What’s a witch have to do to get your attention?” came the voice. Before Regina even got a chance to respond, the needle disappeared from her hand, only to reappear in the witch’s hand and Regina gasped. “What’s the matter? Has life got you down?” she taunted. 

“None of your business,” Regina snapped. 

“You really don’t know who I am, do you?” 

“I know exactly who you are…The Wicked Witch.” 

“Is that all?” the witch countered. 

“I’m not that interested,” Regina retorted. 

“Please allow me to introduce myself. You can call me Zelena,” Regina looked the witch over and then made a realization. 

“That’s my dress.” 

“Hmm…I had to take it in a little bit at the hips, but…It looks better on me. Don’t you think?” Zelena taunted. 

“I think you should have never left Oz,” Regina shot back. 

“You can have your castle back if you want it that badly. I was just trying it on for size. Besides I’ve already seen everything worth seeing. Your closet…your gardens… your crypt,” She said, a devilish smirk upon her face. 

“Yes, how did you break the blood lock?” Regina asked. 

“I didn’t.” 

“The door was open. No one’s that powerful,” Regina told her. 

“Cora really never told you.” 

“Told me what?” 

“The truth about us, Regina.” Regina laughed to herself. 

“What are you talking about? And, how do you know my mother?” 

“The same way you do,” Zelena sneered. “I’m your sister.” The words hit Regina like a ton of bricks. This didn’t make sense. None of this made sense. She didn’t have a sibling. Surely, she would have noticed and her mother would have told her. “Actually, half-sister, but…details, details,” Zelena clarified. 

“That’s not possible,” Regina said. “…you’re green.” 

“And you’re rude,” Zelena countered. “Cora had me first before she wormed her way into the dregs of royalty. You know I’m telling the truth. How else could I have broken the door to the crypt? Our mother gave me up and sent me away but you…you, she kept. You, she gave everything!”

“Everything she wanted. If what you’re saying is true, then you were lucky to escape her.” 

“Enough with the martyr complex, Regina. Try growing up without a mother. Try living in Oz, knowing that no one thought you were good enough…not your mother, not the only man that our paths both crossed…Rumplestiltskin. 

“You know Rumplestiltskin?” Regina asked. 

“Well, did you think you were his only student?” 

“Let me guess…” Regina began. “You’re mad because he chose me to cast his curse? Well, get over it. It wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be.” 

“Things would have been better in my life if I had. But…despite my shortcomings, I made something of myself, dear. And I didn’t need Cora…or Rumplestiltskin,” Zelena shot back. 

“Well, it’s too bad they’re not around to see how well you turned out. They’re both dead.” Zelena chuckled lightly to herself. 

“That’s alright. You’re the only one I need alive.” 

“Really? Why is that?” Regina asked. 

“Because I’m going to take everything away from you.” 

“Too late…” Regina replied sadly. “I’ve already lost everything that matters.” 

“No Regina, you haven’t lost  _ anything _ yet.” 

“So you are going to kill me?” Regina asked. Secretly, the option didn’t seem like that bad of a choice. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with her pain any longer. 

“No, that’s too easy,” Zelena sneered. “For me to get what I want, I need you to suffer. You see, what’s in store for me is all my dreams being realized. But for you? Well…it’s a fate worse than death.” 

“Go ahead. Bring it, Greenie,” Regina growled. 

“Indeed, I will. See you soon sis,” She cackled before hopping on her broomstick and flying out of the courtyard. Regina watched as her newfound sister flew away, a spark of life now present in her eyes. For the first time since returning to the Enchanted Forest, she felt like she had something to live for, something to fight for. And, she wasn’t going to lose this opportunity like she lost the opportunity to be Henry’s mother. Swiftly, she walked back to her chambers, where Robin was still stuck to the floor. 

“You didn’t go through with it?” he questioned. She released her spell and started packing up the ingredients that she had left out. 

“You were right. The sleeping curse wasn’t the answer. As you said, I just needed to find something to live for.” 

“And you found it? What?” Robin asked, a smile across his face. 

“The one thing I haven’t had in a very long time,” She replied as she turned around to face the thief. “Someone to destroy.” 

“Hold on, I’m confused,” Robin said, looking at the woman in front of him. “What happened while you were gone?” 

“I ran into our friend, the Wicked Witch,” Regina replied as she started to make her way through the castle “Let’s just say she’s a piece of work.”

“Wait, wait, did you fight? Are you alright? What happened?”

“We exchanged words. Now, all I want to do is get out of here,” Regina snapped. 

“Regina, I really think that we should talk about what happened before…well, before you secured my feet to the floor,” Robin prompted. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“You…you just seem like you’re in a bad place. Seeing that you’re not currently imprisoned in a sleeping curse right now is a good sign…but, Regina, I'm worried about you.” 

“My wellbeing is none of your concern, thief,” she snapped. “Just because you’ve lost someone doesn’t mean that you know what I’m going through. Now, stop talking to me or I’ll glue you to the floor again.” Regina continued to walk away, leaving the thief behind her. 

After walking silently through the forest, they arrived back at Robin Hood’s camp. It was nearly daybreak and most of the camp seemed to be up already. 

“Regina? Where did you go? We woke up and you were gone,” Snow said as she walked over to the Queen. 

“I was doing as I said I was going to. I brought down the protection spell.” 

“It's down? And the Wicked Witch…” 

“Won’t be a problem for a while,” Regina assured her. “The castle is ours.” 

“This is great news!” Charming proclaimed. 

“We can go home,” Snow said. “We can all go home!” All around them, people cheered and hugged one another. It felt like a new beginning. Robin looked over at Regina once more. She wasn’t smiling or running around hugging everyone. She was standing stoically in the middle of the chaos. She wasn’t okay. She definitely wasn’t okay. 

After packing up the few things that they had, the group was ready to make the trek to the castle. “You’re sure you won’t come with us?” Snow asked Robin.”We could really use your skills to help us defeat the Wicked Witch.” 

“My men and I belong in the forest,” Robin assured her. “but, just call if you need our assistance to bring down that Wicked Witch.” 

“We can’t thank you enough,” David interjected. “You’re a good man, Robin Hood,” he added as he extended his hand out to the man in front of him. Robin gave David a smile and firmly took David’s hand into his own. “We ought to get going,” he said to Snow.

“Snow White, can I talk to you privately for a moment before you go?” Robin asked. He looked over at Regina who was sitting quietly on a fallen tree by herself. She hadn’t said more than a few words since they arrived back at camp. “I know that this may be a bit forward, but I just wanted to make sure that someone is looking out for the Queen.” 

“She’s not alright? Is she?” Snow asked. 

“No, I-I don’t think so,” Robin told her. “I know we’ve only just met, but I’m worried for her. I worried that she might try to do something rash…something she may regret.” 

“What did she tell you, Robin?” 

“I don’t want to break Regina’s confidence, but…just watch out for her,” Robin said. 

“I will,” Snow assured him. “I’ll make sure she’s safe.” 

“Thank you, I appreciate that,” Robin replied.

“Snow? You ready?” David called, breaking the two from their conversation. 

“Coming,” Snow called. She gave Robin one last smile before joining her husband and the rest of the group. With a few waves, they said goodbye and started on their journey towards the castle. It felt strange to be going back to the castle. There were a lot of memories there…ones that didn’t exactly elicit positive feelings, but nevertheless, it was their only option. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After bringing down Zelena's protection spell, Snow White, Prince Charming, Regina and the rest of the Storybrooke citizens make their way to their new home. Everyone seems to be moving forward, however, being back in the castle brings back some unpleasant memories for Regina and pushes her to the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: brief mention of self-harm

“I can’t believe it looks the same after all of these years,” Snow said as her childhood home came into view. “It’ll be strange living here again.” Strange was not the word that came to mind when Regina thought of this place. Since she had been chosen to be a substitute mother for Snow at the young age of eighteen, this castle had always felt like a prison. If she was being honest, Regina had always felt trapped even before coming to this castle. Her mother never let her out of her sight and nothing that she ever did was good enough. As a girl, all Regina wanted was to be free and be her own person. However, it was clear, as long as her mother was alive, that would never be a possibility. Even her sham of marriage was just another decisive move by her mother to keep her under her control for the rest of her life. 

When she moved into the castle, Regina was completely heartbroken. When Daniel died, he had taken all of her love and hope with him. All that was left of her was an empty shell of the woman she once was. In its place, hate and revenge built up within her. The only positive was that the King seemed like a kind man. That assumption held true for everyone except Regina. To the external world, Leopold was an honorable and benevolent king, but to Regina, he was nothing more than a controlling bastard who wasn’t afraid to take what he wanted. While Leopold was alive, Regina spent her days hiding from the man she was forced to call her husband. However, when nightfall came, Regina knew that hiding wouldn’t do her any good. He always managed to find her no matter how hard she tried to evade him

This castle was also the birthplace of the Evil Queen. It was the place where her thirst for revenge had led her down a life-altering path. It was where her heart had first gone dark. Even when she was at her most powerful, Regina had never felt more alone than she did during that time. This place brought back all of those feelings… the pain, the isolation, the feeling of suffocating. The thing that scared her most of all was the fact that this place had driven her to the darkness once before, meaning it could do it again. After all that she had been through, Regina knew she couldn’t let that happen again. She knew that this time, there would be nothing and no one to stop her from spiraling into the darkness. 

“Alright everyone, spread out and find somewhere to sleep,” Charming announced as they opened the large wooden doors and the group walked inside the castle. “Tomorrow, we’ll start rebuilding this kingdom. For tonight, just rest. We’ll start trying to find some food and get everyone fed.” 

“How can we help?” Grumpy asked as he walked up to the prince. 

“We’ll need firewood,” Snow interjected. “Can you and your brothers find some?” 

“You got it, sister,” Grumpy agreed before going over to his brothers to tell them about the task. 

“And what would you like us to do?” Granny asked. 

“I think everyone could use a bit of your homemade stew. This is a big change for all of us so I think everyone would appreciate a little piece of Storybrooke. Nothing says Storybrooke like your famous beef stew,” David replied.

“You got it. Ruby will help me,” the old woman added, motioning to her granddaughter. 

“I’d like to help as well,” Belle mentioned. “If that’s alright…” 

“Come aboard. We’ve got plenty of hungry people to feed so we’ll need all the help we can get,” Granny agreed. With that, the three women set off to start working on dinner. Everyone seemed to be falling into their roles naturally. The other citizens were talking with one another and trying to remain calm in the face of this new challenge. From across the room, Snow couldn’t help but notice Regina standing off to the side by herself, away from everyone. She knew that Regina was in a weird spot. While she had grown a lot over the past two years, many of the other citizens still saw her as evil and untrustworthy. To many of them, Regina would never be one of them, no matter how hard she tried.

“Is it as weird for you to be back as it is for me?” Snow asked as she walked over to Regina. 

“That’s one way to put it,” Regina replied. 

“So, Charming and I talked about our plan to rebuild the kingdom last night. We’re going to work on cottages for everyone so that they can have a place of their own. And we’ll stay here along with Grumpy and the other dwarves, Granny, Ruby, Belle, and Neal…and you of course,” Snow told her. 

“Well, it sounds like you have a plan…” the woman replied, her voice trailing off. “Have you assigned us all rooms or can I head to my former bedroom? I’m a bit tired.” 

“No, that’s fine. We wouldn’t want to take your bedroom from you,” Snow assured her. Regina began to walk away before Snow’s voice stopped her. “Regina, you know that if you need to talk, I’m here right?” 

“I am well aware, dear,” Regina answered without turning around. As she walked away from everyone else, Regina felt herself begin to crumble. Her emotions were becoming too much for her. She hastily walked to her bedroom, ran inside and shut the door. Her knees gave out and she slid down against the door. “I can’t do this…” she sobbed out to no one. Her chest ached as the grief that she had repressed for a few hours suddenly hit her. Regina sobbed for what seemed like hours before she was able to pull herself up off the ground. Shakily, she walked over to her wardrobe and opened the door. Inside was a mirror, a mirror that Regina had spent many hours looking into in the past. Seeing herself now, Regina could barely recognize herself. Her long brown hair was a mess and her mascara was smudged down her cheeks. She felt like a shell of the woman that she used to be. Using the small amount of strength she had left, Regina drug herself into the bathroom and washed what was left of her makeup off her face. Then she returned to her wardrobe and dug through the drawers until she found an old, emerald nightgown. She shimmied her heavy, lace black dress off and allowed it to fall to the floor. After all these years, she didn’t miss the layers of fabric or the corsets that her old wardrobe consisted of. They only made her feel like she was suffocating even more. Once she was dressed, she climbed into bed and turned on her side. She shut her eyes and began willing herself to fall asleep. Maybe in her dreams, she’d be able to see Henry. 

Hours passed by while Regina slept. Downstairs, the dwarves returned with plenty of firewood to heat the castle and the whole dining room smelled of Granny’s beef stew. “Alright everyone, come and get it. We’ve got plenty,” Granny announced as everyone began to form a line. 

“I haven’t seen Regina in a few hours,” Snow said to David. “Have you?” 

“No, I haven’t,” he replied gruffly. “I hope she’s not off getting herself into trouble. We have enough to worry about.” 

“But David, I already am worried about her,” Snow said softly, trying to keep her voice down. She knew Regina was a very private person and she definitely wouldn’t want people knowing how upset she truly was. “She’s clearly not okay. Out in the forest, she ripped her own heart out of her chest and tried to bury it. She’s depressed.”

“Yeah, well, so am I,” David retorted. “Because of her, we’ve lost our daughter for the second time…and our grandson. She’s not the only one that lost someone. This may not be what she wants but it’s our new reality, so she’ll just have to get used to it.” 

“I think you’re being a bit insensitive. You’ve still got me and our friends…” 

“It’s not my fault that she’s alienated everyone else in her life,” David interjected. “Snow, we’ve got to be strong and restore this kingdom…the kingdom that she destroyed. I know Regina’s come a long way but that doesn’t mean that I forgive her for everything that she’s put us through.” Snow stood with her mouth agape as she listened to her husband. She didn’t realize that he harbored this much resentment for Regina. While she didn’t completely disagree with David, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for Regina anyway. 

He didn’t know the woman that she did. The Evil Queen was the only version of Regina that David knew. However, Snow still remembered the good that Regina was capable of. She remembered the woman who had come racing down a hill to save her from falling off her horse. A person who was pure evil didn’t do something like that for someone else. There had also been times in her childhood that Regina had been there for her, even if she didn’t like it. She’d often take refuge in Regina’s chambers after a nightmare. She’d crawl under the covers and snuggle herself close to the older woman. Just breathing in Regina’s familiar scent was enough to calm Snow down and allow her to go back to sleep. Snow knew that there was still good left in Regina. The last thing Snow wanted was for Regina’s depression to snuff out that light. When it came down to it, Regina was her friend…her family and Snow wasn’t willing to let anything happen to her. As she and David moved through the line, Snow grabbed two bowls of Granny’s stew and made a move towards the exit of the dining room. “Where are you going?” David called after her. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back,” Snow retorted. She navigated her way through the long hallways and was astonished at how well she remembered the castle’s floor plan after all of these years. When she reached Regina’s bedroom, she knocked softly. 

“Regina…it's Snow. Can I come in?” No response came from inside the room. “I’ve got dinner for you.” Regina still didn’t respond. Worried about what the woman could have done to herself, Snow took a chance and turned the doorknob until she heard a click. When she peeked inside the room, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw that Regina was just sleeping. Snow padded into the room and placed the bowl of stew on Regina’s bedside table before taking a seat on the edge of Regina’s bed. “Regina… Regina…time to wake up,” Snow said softly. The brunette didn’t stir. “Regina, come on. I’ve got dinner for you,” The princess said, a bit louder this time as she shook her stepmother’s arm. The shaking seemed to do the trick because within seconds, Regina’s eyes opened and she shot up in bed gasping. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” 

“Who the hell told you that you could come in here,” Regina snapped, her hand still gripping at her chest as she tried to slow her breathing. 

“I’m sorry…I just wanted to check on you and bring you some dinner. No one has seen you for hours.” 

“Didn’t know I had to check in with you like a child. Besides, I’m not hungry.”

“Look, Regina, it wasn’t my intention to make you feel like a child. I’m just…concerned about you.” 

“There’s nothing to be concerned about. I’m fine. Just leave me alone,” she snapped back before turning on her side and burying herself under her covers once more. 

“Regina…we both know that you’re not okay. You’re depressed…and that’s okay but you have to deal with it. You can’t just lock yourself in this room.” 

“Watch me.” 

Snow sighed. “Regina, I want to give you the room to grieve but I’m scared for you. I know this isn’t easy but I have to ask…have you thought about hurting yourself?” she asked, no longer dancing around the topic. Almost instantly, she could see the anger flare up inside of Regina. 

“Where is this coming from?” she demanded. “…the thief. What did he say?” Regina yelled as a sudden realization popped into her head. 

“Regina, he was just scared for you.” 

“He had no right! It’s not his business!” she yelled. “Just get out! Get out and leave me alone!” 

“Regina…” Snow replied calmly as she placed her hands up in defense. 

“Get out! Get out!” She screamed. In her fit of anger, Regina reached out and grabbed the bowl of stew from the bedside table and threw it across the room. It clattered to the floor and Snow gasped as she jumped out of the way. She hadn’t seen Regina look like this in years. Though she wouldn’t admit it, Snow was scared. Without another word, she left the bedroom, leaving Regina alone. There was no use fighting with the woman when she was this upset. 

With Snow gone, tears once again flooded Regina’s eyes and her entire body shook. She couldn’t breathe. She needed to calm down but she couldn’t. She walked into the bathroom and began frantically digging through a cabinet. She looked and looked until finally, she found what she desired. She pulled out a tiny wooden box and fell to the floor. Regina positioned herself against the cabinet doors and undid the tiny golden latch on the box. When she opened the box, a shiny metal knife stared back at her. It had been years since she had to resort to this little object. She pulled the knife from the box, her hand still shaking. With tears streaming down her cheeks, Regina placed the blade on her wrist and pressed hard until the metal slid through her flesh and blood poured from the cut. She gasped in pain and then dropped the knife onto the bathroom floor. Regina knew that hurting herself shouldn’t help, but in some messed up way it did. She couldn’t control the pain her heart was enduring from losing Henry, but this, this she could control. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week of drowning in her own depression, Regina tries to find another way to numb the pain.

After two weeks, the process to rebuild the kingdom was going well. Nearly all of the cottages were finished being built and people were moving on with their lives. Citizens, who hadn’t practiced their trades in nearly thirty years were picking them back up again, meaning that the kingdom’s economy was growing. Everything seemed to be falling into place and everyone was moving on, everyone except Regina. Since her outburst with Snow, Regina had isolated herself in her bedroom. She was rarely able to pull herself from her bed and her appetite was so poor that she hadn’t eaten a decent meal in a week. She was wasting away into nothing with each passing day, becoming a shell of the woman she used to be. Snow knew that Regina wasn’t alright. That much was clear, but she had no idea how to help her. After Regina’s last outburst, Snow was scared of what Regina was capable of. Nevertheless, she tried to make sure that the older woman was taken care of. 

“Regina…” Snow said softly. “I’ve got food for you. I’m just going to leave it outside the door.” She set the tray down in front of the door and began to walk away. Suddenly, she stopped and approached the door once more. “Regina…I hope you’re alright.”

Inside the bedroom, Regina sat up from her position in bed. Though she didn’t want to move, her stomach ached from not eating for days. Using all of the strength inside of her, Regina pushed herself out of the bed. As she stood up an overwhelming feeling of dizziness came over her and she was forced to grab onto the poster of the bed frame to keep herself from falling. The combination of lying down for so long and not eating was beginning to catch up with her. When the dizziness finally passed, Regina slowly walked to the door. She opened it tentatively and looked outside to make sure no one was there to see her. After making sure that the coast was clear, Regina reached down and grabbed the tray of food that Snow had left her. On the tray was a bowl of soup and some bread. None of it looked appetizing but it was her only choice considering she wasn’t leaving her room. Shakily, Regina reached down and grabbed the spoon before dipping it into the soup. She was able to stomach a few spoonfuls and three bites of bread before her stomach began to revolt. The nausea sent Regina rushing into the bathroom where she collapsed in front of the toilet. Her mouth watered as the nausea overwhelmed her and she gagged while desperately trying to keep the little that she had just eaten in her stomach. After a few dry heaves, Regina began to feel a bit better. She laid her head on the cold toilet seat and took a few deep breaths. She didn’t know why she even tried. Everything brought her pain. The cutting didn’t even seem to help any longer. Now, she wanted something to numb the pain. She wanted…no, needed a drink. 

With a wave of her hand, Regina changed herself into something more presentable than her nightgown which she had been wearing for days. She knew there was a tavern not far from the castle and she was determined to get there. She decided to sneak down a back staircase that led to the grounds outside. After hurrying down the stairs, Regina opened the backdoor and walked outside into the brisk night air. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. For the first time, Regina felt like she could breathe again. The castle made her feel like she was suffocating. Whenever she left her bedroom, all eyes were on her. She couldn’t take the looks of pity any longer.

After leaving the castle, Regina made her way through the forest until she made it to the tavern. She walked inside and took a seat at the bar. “Scotch and keep it coming,” she told the barkeep. The man nodded and filled a glass for her before sliding it across the bar top. She took a sip and grimaced as the cool liquid made its way down her throat. The alcohol burned, but Regina continued to drink it anyway. She figured that if she drank enough she wouldn’t be able to feel the burn…she wouldn’t be able to feel anything. 

Outside the tavern, Robin and his men approached. Friar Tuck had agreed to watch Roland so that the rest of the men could grab a drink. They wandered inside and the men moved to find a table. Robin couldn’t help but notice a familiar face sitting at the bar. “I’ll be right there, men,” he announced before moving towards the bar. 

“Your Majesty,” he said tentatively. After taking the final swig of her drink. Regina looked up at the man and groaned. 

“Great…What are you doing here?” 

“I could ask you the same question,” Robin replied. He surveyed the Queen. Even though it had only been two weeks, she looked different. It was clear that time had not been kind to her. She looked thinner, paler and there were dark circles under her eyes. “I’ll take a scotch,” he told the barkeep as he took a seat next to her. 

“Another one here,” Regina added. 

“Clearly, that last glass wasn’t your first.” 

Regina scoffed. “I don’t remember asking you for a drink count. Why don’t you just leave me alone, thief! No one asked you to ride in on your white horse and try to save me again.”

“Maybe I’m just concerned that you’ll drink all the scotch and there’ll be none left for the rest of us,” Robin told her. Regina didn’t answer. She just took another swig of her drink. “I’d ask how you’ve been since we last talked but I think the answer is pretty clear.” 

“Has anyone ever told you’re rather annoying?” 

“Has anyone ever told you that you may be the most stubborn human alive?” he countered.

“You don’t know me,” Regina growled back. “Stop trying to act like you do.” 

“Know you?” Robin laughed with a smirk. “A few years ago, I was you. When my wife died…” 

“I’ve already listened to your sob story about your dead wife. I’m not interested,” Regina retorted before taking another swig of her drink. Robin shook his head. 

“It won’t work you know.” 

“What won’t work?” 

“Drowning yourself in booze,” Robin replied. “The relief is temporary, but tomorrow you’ll wake up just as depressed and hurt, but you’ll have a massive headache on top of it.”

“Thanks for the lecture on responsible drinking but I’m fine.” 

“I never ventured into physically harming myself, but considering you’re here, I’m thinking it doesn’t numb the pain either,” Robin added as he glanced down at Regina’s wrist and saw the red straight scars running across her wrist. Regina’s eyes grew wide and she pulled her sleeve down quickly before the thief could get a closer look.

“I don’t have to take this. I’m leaving,” Regina growled as she hopped down off the barstool. As soon as she hit the ground, her legs threatened to collapse. Seeing the Queen wobble, Robin jumped to her side and held her body up to prevent her from falling to the dirty bar floor. “I’m fine!” She exclaimed. “Just let me go!” Regina pushed his arms off of her and stumbled her way towards the door. Robin knew that Regina wasn’t alright. He couldn’t in good conscience try to let her get home by herself. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to her on the way home. Robin hurried to catch up with her but as soon as he opened the door, it was clear that she hadn’t gotten far. Regina was hunched over retching into the brush. Clearly, the massive amount of alcohol that she had just consumed was too much for her system. Robin walked over to her and gently gathered her long brown hair back from her face. “Leave me alone,” she growled out between dry heaves. 

“Just shut up and let me help you,” Robin retorted. Regina didn’t have time to argue before another wave of nausea hit her and she lost what was left in her stomach. When she was finished, Regina stood up and turned towards Robin. Her eyes were glazed over and her face looked paler than before. “Your Majesty…” Robin said, trying to shake the woman from her daze. “Your Majesty, are you alright?” Suddenly, Regina’s eyes rolled back into her head and her body began to collapse. Luckily, Robin was able to catch her before her body hit the ground. “Your Majesty,” he said, his voice panicked. He placed his head against her chest and listened. He could hear the thumping sound of her heartbeat and the steady whooshing of air as she breathed. He breathed out a sigh of relief after realizing that she had just collapsed from the alcohol. One thing was clear, he had to get her somewhere where she could rest. The castle was too far for him to carry her, but their camp was close enough. Robin gathered the woman into his arms and was shocked at how light she felt, even with all the layers to her dress. Regina remained unconscious the entire walk back, but Robin could feel her chest fall and rise with each breath so he knew she was alright. When he arrived back at camp, Robin made his way over to his tent and gently set Regina down on his sleeping bag. He turned her on her side, just in case she was sick again. Robin looked down at the woman in front of him. This was the most peaceful that he had ever seen her and he couldn’t help but feel bad for her. “Oh, Your Majesty, I know you may be in pain now, but I promise it will get better. You just have to hang on,” he said softly as he ran his fingers through her raven locks. Robin smiled at her before scooting himself backward and lying down on the opposite side of the tent. Behind that stubborn, angry, depressed exterior, Robin knew there was a kind, beautiful, woman underneath, a woman that needed help. Though there was no reason for him to feel compelled to help her, he did. He had fought the darkness himself once before and he wasn’t willing to watch another person be consumed by it. 

The next morning when Regina woke up she looked around in confusion at her surroundings. Her body hurt and she had a blinding headache. Groaning, she looked around and realized that she wasn’t in her dimly lit bedroom in the castle, but rather a tent and she was lying on the ground on a forest green sleeping bag. “

“God, what happened last night?” she thought. Hearing a rustling next to her, Regina turned her head and saw a small boy with curly brown hair sitting next to her. She recognized him. It was the thief’s son. 

“You sleeped for a long time,” he said. 

“I was tired,” Regina replied hoarsely, her throat a bit sore. 

“You were the one that saved me from the monkey.” 

“I was,” she agreed

“I wanted to say thank you,” the little boy told her. “And tell you I like my monkey.” 

“I’m glad,” Regina told him with a slight smile. “Can I ask what your name is?” she asked, realizing she had no idea what the little boy’s name was. 

“It’s Roland,” he replied. “Papa calls you Your Majesty because you’re the Queen. Is Majesty your name?” 

“Not exactly,” Regina laughed. 

“Then why does Papa call you that?” 

“It’s just something that you call people who are Queens or Kings,” she explained. 

“So you are still the Queen?” Regina thought for a moment. For the first time, she realized that she really wasn’t a Queen…not anymore. She didn’t want to be the Evil Queen and she surely wasn’t a royal in this new kingdom that Snow and David were creating. She wasn’t…anything. 

“No, I guess I’m not…not anymore,” she replied softly. 

“Well then, what do I call you?” Roland asked once more. 

“My name is Regina,” she told him that. “You can call me that.” 

“Wegina,” Roland stuttered out, tripping over his R’s. Regina smiled. Henry used to do that as well. “That name’s too hard,” he pouted. 

“Well, how about Gina?” she asked.

“Gina,” Roland repeated with a smile. “I can say that one.” 

“Then we’ll go with that,” Regina repeated. As she said that she heard a man’s voice from outside of the tent. 

“Roland! Where are you?” Suddenly, Robin peeked his head into the tent and saw his son guiltily sitting by Queen’s side. “I told you not to bother her,” Robin said sternly. “Now, go. Little John has breakfast ready.” Roland nodded, acknowledging that he heard his father and left the tent. Robin looked towards Regina with a smirk on his face. 

“I do believe that someone had a tad too much to drink last night,” he teased, the volume of his voice a tad louder then Regina was ready for. 

“You know, your son is much better to wake up to than you are,” Regina retorted, wincing in pain as her head pounded. “What I wouldn’t give for some Advil…” she muttered. 

“Some what?” Robin questioned

“Nevermind,” She said. “I don’t suppose you could fill me in on what happened last night? Why I’m here…sleeping on the ground?” 

“I found you at the tavern trying to drown yourself in a bottle of scotch,” Robin told her. “When you tried to leave, you didn’t get very far before retching into the bushes. Then, you passed out. The castle was too far to walk to so I brought you here to sleep it off.” Regina looked down in embarrassment. She had little memory of that, meaning that it must have been as bad as the thief was saying. She had never been a big drinker, not even at her loneliest before the first curse. This truly was a rock bottom moment. 

“I guess I should be thankful that you didn’t leave me passed out in the forest in my own vomit,” she replied softly. 

“Those words sound strangely similar to thank you…yet the words don’t actually grace my ears,” Robin said. 

“Don’t push it, thief.” 

Robin smirked. “Well, if your stomach’s up to it, Little John’s got breakfast out here. There’s plenty to go around. I’ll give you a second by yourself, but you’re welcome to join us.” he added before disappearing for the tent. When he was gone, Regina flopped back down onto the sleeping bag and let out a deep breath. Surprisingly, her stomach growled, clearly a sign that it was demanding food. When she was ready, Regina sat up and brushed her fingers through her hair. It was beginning to get curly and stray pieces were sticking out at odd angles. She missed her short hair from Storybrooke. It was far easier to take care of. Using her fingers, she brushed through it, trying to make it as presentable as possible before standing up and leaving the tent.

Once outside, she looked around. Robin’s men were smiling and munching happily on their breakfasts. However, they all stopped talking and stared at her when she emerged from the tent. “Look who’s awake,” the one man said. Regina recognized him as Little John. “Come grab a plate, Your Majesty. I’ve shown some restraint at the buffet this morning so there’s plenty left.” Regina felt her cheeks blush as she remembered the comment she had made about the man just a few weeks earlier. She walked over and took the plate of eggs and meat out of his hands. 

“Thank you,” she replied softly before taking a seat on a fallen log next to the fire.

“Can I sit next to you, Gina?” came Roland’s little voice. 

“You may,” she replied. 

“Roland, what did you just call her?” Robin asked. 

“Gina, she told me I could.” 

“My given name isn’t the Evil Queen…though it served me well when I needed it. However, most people call me Regina,” she interjected. “The name was a little hard for him to say.” 

“Ahh, I see,” Robin replied. “ R’s are a tad bit difficult for the lad. I’ll leave Gina to him then. Would you like me to continue calling you Your Majesty?” he asked. 

“I think Regina’s fine,” she replied. “After last night…I think you’re allowed. And you? I suppose thief isn’t the nicest name I could call you.” 

“My friends simply call me Robin,” he replied. She gave him a nod and then focused back on her breakfast. The meal was surprisingly tasty and she was able to stomach it, which was a miracle in itself. 

“Robin, we should start packing up if we’re going to get there on time,” came the voice of another man. 

“Yes I suppose you’re right, Friar Tuck,” Robin replied. “Start cleaning camp and I’ll join you in just a second.”

“Where are you all going?” Regina asked as she watched the men begin to clean up the tents and supplies. 

“You don’t know?” Robin asked. Regina looked back at him with a look of confusion on her face. “The Wicked Witch has been sending her simian pets to attack other citizens. Seems as though you’re not her only target. The Prince and Princess have offered my men and me jobs as guards to patrol the grounds and watch for more attacks. Though I love the forest, I have to keep my son safe.” 

“So…” 

“We’re leaving the forest and moving into the castle. Didn’t they tell you?” Robin asked. 

“No…they-they didn’t,” Regina replied. Suddenly, she wasn’t very hungry anymore. She felt her stomach begin to turn, but not from the nausea that had plagued her last night. This felt different…almost like butterflies. For some reason, though he was stubborn and had a white knight complex, Robin made Regina nervous, but in a good way. He had already seen too much of her vulnerability, which only made Regina want to put more walls up. However, another part, a teeny tiny part of her, wanted to spend more time with him. Robin made her feel more alive than she had felt in weeks. He fueled her fire and made her want to fight, fight against the darkness, fight for herself. Anything was better than just giving up which was what she had been doing for the past two weeks since they arrived back in the Enchanted Forest. However, the thought of being in the same space with him scared her. Fate had been notoriously unkind to the people who had taken an interest in her and she didn’t want to bring Robin, or Roland, down in her spiral. She’d have to keep her distance. It was for the best…right? 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Robin and the rest of the Merry Men living in the castle now, Regina tries to keep her distance. However, that proves to be more of a challenge than she thought it would be.

Crap. She was late. Regina rushed through the hallways as she tried to get to the meeting room where the rest of the group was waiting for her. Since Robin and his men had moved into the castle, they had been having weekly meetings to try and figure out a solution to stopping Zelena’s pesky monkey attacks. So far, they had been less than productive and often ended in frustration from all parties involved. When Regina finally made it, she could hear that the current meeting sounded eerily similar to the last one. 

“Seriously, we have no new ideas,” David boomed. “Citizens are being attacked.” 

“And you think we don’t know that?” Grumpy growled back. “They’re our friends as well. We like the Wicked Witch’s pets just as much as you do.” Regina tried to walk in quietly but even the soft clicking of her heels was enough to alert David. 

“Nice of you to actually join us, Regina,” he snapped. “Glad you decided to grace us with your presence.” 

“I had things to do…” She snarled back. 

“Things more important than saving this kingdom from your wicked sister?” Grumpy retorted. 

“Don’t test me, dwarf. We may have the same mother, but she is not my sister,” Regina replied as she took a seat in the only open seat left at the table, which just happened to be right next to Robin Hood. Since they had moved into the castle, Regina had been trying to keep her distance from the thief and his son, but it was proving to be more difficult than she had thought. 

“Yeah well, it seems that your existence is enough to piss people off nowadays,” Grumpy shot back. “Because that witch is coming for all of us because of you.” Regina felt the anger rise inside of her. She wanted to scream and yell at the stupid little dwarf. He had no idea. It wasn’t her fault that her mother had chosen to give Zelena away and it wasn’t her fault that her life had gone so wrong. Trying her best not to explode, Regina curled her fingers around her dress and squeezed hard as she tried to hold her tongue. Robin, who could see how upset Regina was getting, decided to intervene. 

“Maybe we should move on…this isn’t productive,” Robin interjected. “Two of my men have been attacked in the short time that we’ve been here. We’ve been able to handle them for now but who’s to say the witch won’t send her own army of those beasts to attack us.” 

“She’s just too strong,” Ruby said. “Even in my wolf form, those beasts are hard to manage.”

“I may have a suggestion,” Belle added quietly. 

“Well at this point, we don’t have other ideas,” David said.

“We need Rumple.” Everyone stopped and stared at her. They all knew that losing Rumplestiltskin had been especially hard on Belle. Many people suspected that she wasn’t processing her grief. This suggestion seemed to confirm this for them. 

“Belle…” Snow started timidly. 

“I know what you’re going to say. That it seems impossible, but I think it’s possible.” 

“Belle, I miss my father just as much as you do, but he’s gone,” Neal told her as he laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. 

“Now, just listen,” Belle snapped, getting a bit angry at everyone disregarding her idea. “I’ve been reading.”

“There’s a surprise,” Regina muttered. 

Belle shot her glare. “There is a vault…the vault where the first dark one was made. I think if we go there we can find some answers on how to bring Rumple back. If we can bring him back, Zelena won’t stand a chance.” 

“But how do we even know where to find this vault?” Neal asked. 

“I don’t know…” she sighed. “But all I know is we aren’t going to find the answers here.” 

“And where do you expect to find them?” Granny asked. 

“Rumple’s castle. If I learned anything during my time with Rumple, it’s that there’s always a loophole…a way to bring him back. All I know is that I’ll regret it if I don’t try.” There was silence among the group as they processed what Belle was saying. Slowly, people seemed to nod their heads and get on board with the idea. It wasn’t as if there were any other ideas. Regina seemed to be the only one not on board. 

“Are you insane?” She questioned. “Rumplestiltskin was a snake. It’s a blessing that he’s gone. The sooner you accept that, the sooner we can all move on with our lives.” 

“I don’t see the harm in her trying. She’s found a serious lead,” David interjected. 

“Don’t see the harm? Even if you do find this vault, there’s no telling what you could unleash,” Regina countered. “I’m the only one who has a problem with this idea? Seriously?” Her question was met with silence which gave Regina her answer. “Fine!” she exclaimed as she pushed her chair out and stood up. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to this anymore. I’m going to look for a solution that may actually help us,” she added before storming out of the meeting room. 

“Ridiculous,” Regina muttered. If the bookworm could find something in the library, so could she. Once in the library, Regina began scanning the shelves. There had to be something here that could help them with Zelena and the monkey attacks, something that didn’t involve a ludicrous plan to bring back the Dark One. That was the last thing that they needed. Regina spent hours combing through spell books, history books, and any other book she could get her hands on, but nothing. As time passed, she got more and more tired, until eventually, she fell asleep, her face pressed against the book she had been currently looking through. 

Out in the hallways, it was Robin’s night to be on patrol. He walked through the halls, keeping an eye out for any sign of trouble. As he turned the corner, a stream of light coming from the library caught his attention. He walked towards it and peeked his head inside. Draped over the table, surrounded by a mountain of books was Regina fast asleep. Robin smiled at the woman. He could tell at the meeting earlier how upset Regina had been when it came to Belle wanting to bring Rumplestiltskin back. However, he felt that Regina’s outburst was more about her not being able to get Henry back than it was about Belle’s suggestion. Robin could tell by Belle’s voice, by the way her face lit up as she talked that she was filled with hope. That hope only reminded Regina of a feeling that she’d never have again because there was no way to bring Henry back. 

Not wanting Regina to wake up with a stiff neck, Robin walked over to her and placed his hand gently on her back. “Regina,” he muttered. “Time to wake up.” 

Despite Robin’s caution in waking her, Regina woke up with a gasp and her eyes darted around the room frantically. “What? Where am I?” 

“You fell asleep in the library, milady,” Robin replied softly. “It’s awfully late. Maybe you should head to bed.” 

“I-uh-no, I’m okay,” She stuttered. “I should keep looking.” 

“The library will be here tomorrow.”

“I’m fine where I am,” She repeated as she stood up and walked over to the bookshelf to pull out another book. Robin could see that Regina was absolutely exhausted. He could tell that over the past few weeks that she had been really trying her best to be happy. It was clear that she was still upset about losing Henry but she wasn’t hiding in her room anymore. She wasn’t drowning herself in booze. She was trying and Robin didn’t want to see her regress and lose herself once more. He walked over to her and took the book from her hands. 

“Give that back, thief!” Regina demanded as she turned around and reached for the book. 

“I thought we talked about you calling me thief,” Robin countered. 

“I’d say it was fitting considering you just stole something from me!” 

“What makes you think that you’ll be able to find something that Belle hasn’t?” Robin asked. 

“I-I just know I can!” Regina replied. “Now, if you’ll just give me my book back…” 

“Do you want to know why I think you’re here this late at night?” 

“Not really,” Regina snapped. 

“I don’t think it has anything to do with Zelena, the monkey attacks, or even the Dark One,” Robin told her. 

“This is ridiculous! Just give me back my book!” 

“This is about Henry.” Regina stopped reaching for her book and stared at the thief. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Regina replied. “Henry is gone. This isn’t about him.” 

“I think that you’re upset that Belle has found a real way to bring the Dark One back. You’re upset that she’s found some hope,” Robin told her. “And you know, when it comes to Henry that there isn’t a magical fix to bring him back.” 

Regina’s lip quivered as she held back tears. “I’m just trying to help. To do something…”

“You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself,” Robin told her. “You’re exhausted and need rest.” He got closer to her. “I’ve seen the progress that you’ve been making. It’s okay to miss him, but don’t let yourself fall down that road again.” Regina stared back at Robin. She knew he was right. She was spiraling again and she didn’t want to go back into the darkness, but she did miss Henry. It hurt to see Belle so full of hope. It was a feeling that Regina would give anything to feel again, but she knew it just wasn’t possible. For the first time, Regina let herself fall in front of someone else and tears rolled down her cheeks. Robin leaned in and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. They stared into one another’s eyes and things felt as though they were moving in slow motion. As if there were a magnet on either side of their lips, they leaned closer and closer until their lips met. The feeling was electric. They leaned into one another’s touch and Robin ran his fingers through Regina’s long raven locks. It was as if time simply stopped until Regina turned her head and pulled away. 

“I-I think I should head to bed,” she stuttered, her cheeks flushed pink. “I’ll take my book to go,” she added with a smirk. Robin smiled back at her and handed the leather-bound book back to her. Regina gave Robin one last glance before leaving the library and heading back to her bedroom. Her heart was fluttering and she had butterflies in her stomach. She couldn’t believe that had just happened. She had just kissed the thief and surprisingly, it felt good. 

When she got back to her bedroom, Regina set the book on her nightstand and moved to her wardrobe to grab a nightgown to change into. As she looked, she heard a thud and quickly looked over, her defenses up and ready. However, she just saw the book lying open on the ground. She walked over and knelt down to grab the book. When she turned it over, she scanned the page and her eyes grew wide. She couldn’t believe what she was reading. The answer had been in her hands the whole time. This book could help them defeat Zelena. It could be the answer to solving everything. Now, all she had to do was convince the rest of the group, but that would have to wait until the morning. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding a possible solution to stopping Zelena, Regina is ready to set out on a mission. However, a certain thief seems to think he's coming along, which Regina isn't thrilled about.

The next morning, Regina gathered everyone back together to share the solution that she had found the previous night. “I thought these stupid meetings were only once a week,” Grumpy grumbled. 

“Quiet!” Regina hissed. She looked around at everyone at the table and couldn’t help but notice that two people were missing. “Where’s Dark One junior and the bookworm?” 

“Belle and Neal headed out this morning to Rumple’s castle,” Snow informed her. Regina rolled her eyes knowing that nothing would come from their journey and that they were only wasting time. 

“Well, I have found a solution that we can use to stop everything- the monkey attacks, Zelena, all of it,” Regina began. Everyone waited in silence as they listened to Regina’s words. “There is a legend of a magical golden flower. The flower can steal magic from another person. If we use the flower on Zelena, she won’t have her magic and she’ll be powerless. That means she won’t be a threat and her pesky pets will stop attacking us. It’s a perfect solution.” 

“It does sound like a good solution,” David admitted as he looked to his wife. 

“Do you know where this flower is?” Snow asked. 

“According to this book, the flower is hidden in the northernmost part of Sherwood Forest near the mountains,” she replied. “If I leave tomorrow morning, I can probably get there and back within a day or two. We can have this Wicked Witch problem handled by the end of the week.” 

“Are you seriously thinking about going to the northern part of the forest by yourself?” Robin asked. 

“Yes, I’m sure I’m capable of making the trek by myself,” Regina replied. 

“That part of the forest is way more dangerous than you can possibly imagine,” Robin told her. “There are ogres, trolls and gnomes. Plus, it’s much colder up there and the weather is completely unpredictable. I’ve lived up there and there’s no one here that knows that part of the forest better than I do. I should come with you.” 

“Absolutely not,” Regina shot back. “I’m fine on my own.” Robin was so confused. He had assumed after their kiss last night that he and Regina were on better terms, yet she was still trying to push him away. 

“Please, try and see reason-“ the thief began. 

“No, I don’t need him holding me back. It’ll be faster if I go by myself.” 

“I think that finding this flower may be our only chance to bring down Zelena,” Snow interjected. 

“Thank you!” Regina exclaimed. 

“But, Regina, Robin is right. He does know the forest better than anyone here, plus he can handle the winged monkeys should one of them decide to attack you. If you’re going to find this flower, he’s coming with you.” 

“But-“ Regina began to argue. 

“No buts! We’ve lost too many people as it is. I’m not risking anything else happening. That’s my final word on the subject,” Snow said before getting up from the table, signifying that she was finished talking about the matter. Regina groaned. This wasn’t how she saw this meeting panning out. She didn’t need Robin to babysit her. She was finally doing something to help the team and they were still treating her like she was this fragile person, like she was going to break down at any moment. Regina was determined. She wasn’t going to break down, not this time, not when she was this close to finding a way to stop Zelena for good. 

The next morning, Regina packed her bag and headed out to the main hall where she had reluctantly told Robin she’d meet him. When she arrived, she saw that the thief was already there. Robin was on his knees in front of Roland who stood next to Little John. “But Papa, why can’t I go with you?” the little boy asked. 

“Because my boy, this journey may be dangerous and I need to look out for the Queen.” 

“But I can help!” 

“Maybe next time, my boy. For now, I need you to stay here with Little John. I need you to listen to him and be a good boy. Can you do that?” Roland nodded, a slight pout on his face. Though he was respecting his father’s wishes, he clearly wasn’t happy about it. “Good boy,” Robin said. “Now, give me a hug.” Roland leaned into his father’s grasp and Robin pressed a kiss to the boy’s forehead. When the hug was finished, Regina cleared her throat to alert them that she was there. 

“We should get going. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover,”

“Of course,” Robin agreed as he picked up his bag. “I love you, buddy.”

“I love you too, Papa!” Roland chorused as Little John ushered him away. Regina swallowed thickly and made a break for the door. The encounter had made her think of Henry. She would give anything to hear one last, “I love you Mom,” from him. She tried to shake the memories from her brain and move on. She didn’t have time to be sad today. 

“Let’s go. We don’t have all day,” Regina snapped as she began walking away from the castle. Robin began to run in an attempt to catch up with her. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’re acting so cold towards me?” Robin asked. He hadn’t really gotten a chance to speak with Regina after the meeting the day before. Honestly, he just needed clarity. Did she hate him or did she have feelings for him? Was he just imagining all the signs in his head? Something inside Robin told him that there was something that she wasn’t saying. 

“I’m not acting any different than I normally do. If you have a problem with me, maybe you should stay at the castle.” 

“Now, that’s where you’re wrong,” Robin told her. “I’ve seen a kind woman behind that cold, stubborn exterior and I just want to know why you’ve hidden her away.”

“I’m not talking about this.” 

“Then, do you want to talk about our kiss the other night in the library?” 

“No, I most certainly do not.” 

“Are you just going to shut me out during this entire trip?” Robin asked. 

“My only plan for this journey is to find that flower and stop the Wicked Witch. I have no time to fit an interrogation from you into my day,” She retorted as she walked away from him and further into the forest. 

“Regina…” 

“What do you not understand, thief?” Regina shot back. “Be quiet or get lost.” 

“I just thought you’d like to head in the correct direction,” Robin told her with a smirk. “You’re going south.” Regina let out a frustrated huff and turned around. She brushed past Robin, her feet stomping against the dried mud forest floor. Robin tried not to push Regina any more as they walked. He realized that Regina would only allow herself to be pushed so far before she lashed out and he wasn’t ready to face that at the current moment. As they walked, it was clear that the temperature was continuing to drop. The northern part of the forest was always colder but it seemed as though a storm was building. As they got further, tiny snow flurries began to fall from the sky. 

“Perfect…as if it wasn’t cold enough,” Regina grumbled. 

“Maybe we ought to look for a place to camp for the night. Storms in these parts come on fast and hit hard but generally pass by pretty quickly,” 

“Scared of a few snowflakes?” Regina retorted harshly. “If you can’t handle a little cold then maybe you shouldn’t have come.” She quipped. Robin couldn’t help but notice the shivers running through her body. 

“I’m fine,” Robin told her. “I’m just saying that I’ve been through storms like this before. They’re not easy to withstand.” 

“We get it. You’re the all knowledgeable forest man, but we’re fine. We should keep going,” Regina replied as she continued to walk ahead of them. Robin rolled his eyes. He could not believe how stubborn Regina was being. As they walked further, they stumbled upon a massive frozen lake. Regina began to walk straight onto the ice and Robin was quick to grab her arm and pull her back. 

“What are you doing? Are you crazy?” 

“You must be crazy grabbing me like that!” She retorted. 

“That ice may look solid but I can assure you, there are soft spots. One wrong step and you’ll find yourself crashing through that ice into the water,” Robin told her. “We should just go around. It’ll take longer but it’s far safer.” 

“We’ve already wasted enough time with your never-ending questions,” Regina retorted. “You’re the one who wants to get out of this snow and this is the fastest way. Now, let me go.” She pulled her arm away from him and walked out onto the ice. Robin watched her. His heart pounded inside his chest. He didn’t have a good feeling about this. “See! Nothing to worry about!” Regina called. “It’s solid!” 

“Regina, I really think you should come back!” 

“What is it, thief? No one teach you to ice skate? Worried about falling in front of me,” Regina called with a laugh as she took a few more steps. 

“Regina, this is a bad idea!” 

Regina rolled her eyes and continued to walk across the frozen lake. “I’m more than halfway there. Don’t expect me to wait for you once I get to the other side! And you wanted to go around! The ice is fine!” Just as she moved to take another step a startling sound echoed through the forest. Regina looked down and noticed a crack splintering through the ice and her heart began to race. 

“Go! You have to get off the ice!” Robin called. Before Regina could take another step, the ice splintered in multiple different directions and she felt the hard surface fall out from under her. Her entire body plunged into the freezing, icy water. The cold temperature was enough to shock Regina’s entire system. For a second, she felt as though all time had stopped. Under the water, everything was peaceful. All the pain that she carried around with her faded. She was finally numb. This sensation lasted for a few moments before her lungs reminded her that this wasn’t her happy ending. Her chest burned as her lungs demanded her to find air. Regina blindly felt around and began to swim towards the surface. When her head finally reached the surface level, Regina gasped for air and coughed out the water that she had inhaled when she had fallen through the ice. 

“Regina! I’m coming! Just hold on!” She heard Robin yell from the shoreline. Regina tried with all of her might to grab onto the ice and pull herself out of the water, but it was too slippery and her body was so cold that she was having a hard time moving. “Just hold on!” Robin yelled once more. Regina tried to push her body out of the water to get to him but her hand slipped and she fell back towards the water. Her head collided with the edge of the ice and Regina felt her vision fade from her. Robin watched in horror as her body disappeared back under the ice. 

Under the water, Regina was completely disoriented. Her head was pounding and her lungs were aching for oxygen but she couldn’t seem to get her bearings. She felt herself drifting deeper and deeper into the water. It wasn’t long before she couldn’t feel her body any longer. What little light she could see was slowly disappearing until eventually, she couldn’t see anything at all. Darkness had completely surrounded her. At that moment, Regina didn’t have any fight left in her. She stopped thrashing around and accepted that the darkness had finally won. This was how her life was going to end…cold, dark, and alone. There was no helping her now. She was just too far gone. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After falling through the frozen lake, Robin must try and save Regina!

It all happened so fast. One moment she was standing there taunting him and the next moment she was gone. Even from halfway from across the lake, Robin had heard the crack in the ice and knew what was coming. As soon as Regina’s body had disappeared under the water, Robin knew he needed to get to her. He wanted to run as fast as he could to the hole in the ice but he knew that wouldn’t work. The ice was unstable, just as he had said. He began to edge his way out on his hands and knees. Robin listened carefully for cracks and any other sign that the ice below him was going to give out. He could feel his pounding out of his chest as the time ticked by. It had been too long. She had been under there for too long. As if on cue, he saw her head emerge followed by a loud gasp and a series of harsh, wet coughs. “Regina! I’m coming! Just hold on!” He yelled as he inched closer and closer to the hole. She was struggling, trying to dig her fingers into the ice to pull herself up. But, the ice was too slippery. “Just hold on!” Robin yelled once more. He could see that Regina was losing her fight. She tried to push herself out of the water once more, but instead, her hand slipped and her head came down and smacked the ice hard. “Regina!” he yelled as he watched her body disappear under the water. Robin began to move even faster. When he reached the hole, he searched desperately for Regina’s body, but he couldn’t see it. The water was too dark. If he let her stay under for any longer, Robin knew that she could die. On the other hand, diving in himself could kill him. He knew there wasn’t a choice. He had to try. Robin took a deep breath and then dove into the icy water. The temperature change made Robin feel as though his heart stopped, but then, he remembered what he was doing. He struggled to open his eyes under the water, but when he managed it he saw Regina’s body floating below him. Robin dove deeper until he was able to grab her body. Once he had grabbed her, Robin frantically began to swim towards the surface. His lungs were burning. He needed oxygen. He needed to reach the surface…for both of them. Just when he felt himself beginning to blackout, a light came into view. Robin pushed himself to swim just a bit farther and finally, he made it. He emerged out of the water and coughed harshly, trying to clear his lungs of the icy lake water. Breathing heavily, Robin used all his strength to get Regina’s body out of the water before pulling himself up. 

“Regina! Please wake up!” He yelled as he looked down at the unconscious woman. She was deathly pale and her lips were blue. He placed his head against her chest and listened, praying that he’d hear the familiar “thump-thump” of her heart, but there wasn’t anything. “Oh god…” he mumbled as he positioned himself over Regina’s chest. He intertwined his hands and began pressing down rhythmically. After thirty seconds, Regina still wasn’t moving. “Air…she needs air,” Robin said frantically. He placed his hand over her nose and positioned his mouth over hers and blew hard. Still nothing. He did another thirty seconds of compressions before giving her another breath. “Please Regina, please,” he begged. “Just breathe. Please.” He gave her one last breath before he heard the most beautiful sound. Water sputtered out of Regina’s mouth and Robin quickly turned her on her side to prevent her from swallowing any of the water. “Yes, thank god! Regina? Can you hear me?” He turned her body back over and could see that she was still unconscious. However, when he placed his head against her chest, he could hear it! Her heart was beating and he could hear the air moving throughout her chest as she breathed. Robin had fixed one problem but now they had another one. If he didn’t get Regina and himself someone warm, they were both going to die of hypothermia. “Think Robin…think,” he said breathlessly. Then, it came to him. Years ago after a particularly dangerous heist, he and Marian had taken refuge in a cabin in the northernmost part of the forest. It was probably still there. With no other options, Robin decided to go for it. He hoisted Regina’s freezing cold, waterlogged body into his arms and made his way towards the shore. Each step zapped more and more of his energy and his legs felt like jello, but Robin knew he had to keep going. After what seemed like forever, they made it to the abandoned cabin and Robin thanked god that it was still standing. He opened the door and looked around the room. There wasn’t much, but it would have to do. He placed Regina’s body on the bed in the corner of the room and moved to the trunk at the foot of the bed. “Please let there be clothes in here.” He opened it and inside were a few pieces of clothing, a long-sleeved nightgown, and a shirt and pants. They were torn and slightly dirty, but they would have to do. Anything was better than the wet clothes that they currently had on. 

“I’m just going to change your clothes, Regina,” He said softly. He didn’t know if Regina could hear him, but he knew this was a serious invasion of privacy. However, it needed to be done if he wanted to save her from hypothermia. Robin gently undid the buttons in the back of her dress and peeled the heavy lace fabric off of her body. Her skin was ice cold and she was shivering. Robin knew that after he finished getting her changed that he’d need to make a fire if there was any hope of getting them both warmer. 

After changing Regina into the nightgown, he changed out of his own wet clothes and pulled on the shirt and pair of pants from inside of the trunk. When he was finished, he safely tucked Regina under the blankets on the bed. “I’ll be back, milady. I’m just going to find some firewood and then we’ll both be able to get warm.” Robin headed back outside into the snow and grabbed as many sticks as he could find. Even in such a short time, the temperature had dropped and snow was beginning to pile up. Robin could barely feel his fingers by the time he made it back to the cabin but he got to work on the fire anyway. He furiously rubbed two sticks together until a spark appeared and ignited the rest of the wood in the fireplace. Finally, they had some heat. With the last of his energy, Robin grabbed the blankets from the bed and positioned them on the floor in front of the fire. Then he lifted Regina up and gently placed her on the blankets. It was then that Robin felt all of the adrenaline that had been keeping him going fade from his body. He laid down next to Regina and held her close. They both needed as much heat as they could get. Robin felt his eyelids growing heavier and heavier. Regina was okay. He was okay. With that knowledge, Robin allowed the exhaustion to overtake him and he fell asleep. 

Hours passed by while Robin and Regina laid in one another’s arms warming themselves in front of the fire. Robin was the first to wake up. He had no idea what time it was but he could see that it was dark outside so it had to be pretty late. He looked down at Regina, who was still fast asleep. He could feel that she was still pretty cold but her lips were no longer blue which was a good sign. He wished that she’d wake up, just so that he could know she was alright. However, Robin understood that Regina’s body had been through a huge trauma and she needed rest. Suddenly, Robin felt his stomach begin to gurgle and he realized that they both hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast that morning. He uncovered himself, shivering slightly as he moved away from the fire. He walked over to his bag and pulled out a thermos of stew that Granny had insisted he take with them. Now more than ever, he couldn’t have been more grateful to have her food with them. Robin looked around the cabin and hidden away in a cabinet was a pot. “Perfect,” Robin thought as he moved towards the fire. He poured the stew into the pot and then held it over the fire to let it heat up. As he sat there, Robin couldn’t help but reflect on the day's events. Regina could have died. He could have died. It was almost too much to process. There was one thing that was abundantly clear to him. He had feelings for Regina, feelings that he hadn’t felt for someone since his wife had been alive. Watching her slip away from him only made Robin want to keep her safe even more. Yes, Regina was stubborn, sometimes cold and guarded, but he could see that behind those walls was a woman aching to be loved, a woman who hadn’t had an easy life but one who continued to fight every day. 

While Robin was warming the stew, he heard a few groans coming from next to him. He looked over to where Regina was lying and saw her begin to move. He quickly put the now warm pot down and knelt by her body. “Regina, can you hear me?” he asked softly. Regina groaned and rolled over onto her back. Her big brown eyes fluttered open and looked into Robin’s. 

“R-robin?” she muttered hoarsely, her teeth still chattering. Her eyes darted around the room. “W-what h-happened? W-where am I?” 

“You’re safe,” He told her. “You’re in a cabin. How much do you remember?” 

“I-I fell t-through the ice,” Regina replied. “M-my h-head h-hurts.” Her hand wandered up to her forehead and she flinched as her fingers brushed against the cut. 

“You hit it on the ice,” Robin told her. “Other than that, how do you feel?” 

“C-cold,” she muttered. 

“I may have something to help with that,” Robin told her. He walked over to where he had set the pot down and poured some of the stew back into the thermos. “Here, this should help.” Regina struggled to sit up, so Robin helped her. She held the thermos up to her lips and took a sip. 

“T-thanks,” she said softly, before taking another sip. “I’m still confused…” 

“About what?” Robin asked. 

“H-how am I alive?” she asked. “The last thing I remember is being under the water and just drifting deeper and deeper.” 

“After you hit your head, you did go under the water,” Robin explained. “I dove in and found you. You—uh—weren’t breathing so I breathed for you until you were about to do it on your own.” Regina was astonished at what Robin was saying to her. She hadn’t realized how bad the situation had gotten. Above all, she didn’t understand why Robin would save her when she had been so cold towards him.

“Why…nevermind,” she mumbled her voice trailing off. 

“No, what is it?” Robin asked. 

“Why do you keep saving me?” she asked. 

“What are you talking about?” Robin asked. “Why wouldn’t I save you?” 

“I have been nothing but unkind to you. I’ve talked down to you and ignored you. Why would you risk your life to save someone who’s done nothing but put you down?” she asked. 

“Because behind all of those walls, I see a woman…a kind woman. A woman who deserves someone to save her even when she won’t save herself. I watched you, Regina…you gave up.” 

“No, I-I didn’t,” Regina stammered. 

“I watched you stop fighting.” 

“I tried!’ Regina exclaimed, tears filling her eyes. “What do you want me to say? The water was cold and I was in pain. I fought hard until I couldn’t anymore.” She paused and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “And then for the first time since I’ve been back in this land, I wasn’t in pain anymore. I couldn’t feel anything. I was completely numb.” This time Robin didn’t say anything back. He just looked at her. He knew that she needed to get all of this out. “I started thinking that maybe everyone would be better off without me. The whole reason why Zelena continues to attack us is because of me! And-and Henry is better off without me so why-why shouldn’t I just…” 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Robin said. Letting her get out her feelings was one thing, but he was not about to let her start rationalizing that her death was the best option for everyone. “Don’t ever think that a world without you in it would be a better one.” 

“You barely know me…” She muttered as she looked away from him. “We only met a few weeks ago. What makes you think you know what kind of woman I am?” 

“Because I’ve seen your heart. I know it’s hard for you to show it, but I’ve seen how deeply you care for people...your son, Roland, even Snow White,” Robin told her. “And I don’t know if I’m crazy, but when we kissed the other night...I-I don’t know. It was magical. I’ve never felt like this about someone...not for a long time. So tell me, am I crazy or is there something more between us? From the second I laid my eyes on you, it has been impossible to get you off my mind.” 

“Robin...I-I-” She stuttered. She didn’t know what to say. She stared back into his blue eyes and just felt her heart melt. It was true. She hadn’t felt this way about someone since Daniel. However, if she had learned anything in her life it was that fate wasn’t kind to the men who took an interest in her. 

“I can see that you’re scared,” Robin whispered as he scooted closer to her. “But I’m here and I don’t run from a fight. I don’t care if this is hard. All I know is that I want to try. I just need to know how you feel.” Regina smiled back at the thief. It was clear that he had a way with words. It was a talent that Regina hadn’t achieved. She didn’t know what to say so she decided to lead with her heart. She took his face into her hands and pulled him forward until their lips met. 

“You’re not crazy,” She replied before pressing her lips to Robin’s once more. Robin pulled Regina’s body closer to him and ran his fingers through her long black hair. Just like the other night, the feeling between them was magic. When their lips finally broke free from one another, Robin began moving down Regina’s body. He began to kiss her neck, then her shoulders. Each kiss got lower and lower until they were both lying down, their bodies pressed against one another. 

“If this is too much we can stop,” Robin told her breathlessly. “I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable.” 

“You’re not,” Regina assured him. “I-I want this.” After so many years of having her walls constantly up, it felt freeing to be able to let them down and just be herself. Robin saw her for who she truly was. He didn’t see the Evil Queen or Mayor Mills. He saw Regina. It had been a long time since someone saw past her insecurities. She finally felt safe. At that moment, Regina let go of everything and gave herself to Robin. She knew that he’d take care of her no matter what. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's late in the day! I work night shift and forgot it was Wednesday!

When the sun rose the next morning, Regina and Robin were still tangled in one another’s arms under a blanket on the floor. The fire had fizzled out hours ago so the cabin was freezing. Robin woke up first. With his eyes still blurry from sleep, he glanced over at the woman next to him and smiled. Regina was still sleepily peacefully and to Robin, she couldn’t have looked more beautiful. He couldn’t believe that the events of last night had really happened. It all seemed like a blur. Eventually, Regina began to stir and Robin nestled himself close to her and began to kiss her neck. When her big brown eyes fluttered open, she saw Robin staring back at her. “Good morning,” he said softly. 

“Morning,” she replied hoarsely as she tried to clear her throat. “It’s cold.” 

“The fire burned out. We could use some fresh firewood,” Robin replied. “I’ll get it.” 

“No, just...stay,” Regina said softly as she pressed herself closer to him. Robin smiled, held her close and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Last night was….it was good.”

“It was good for me too,” Robin assured her. “I like it a lot better when we just talk and we don’t fight.”   
“And here I was thinking that you enjoyed our snarky banter,” she teased. “I like talking too, but I have to say, all the time we spent not talking last night was pretty good as well,” she added with a smirk. Suddenly, Regina felt a chill go through her body and she shivered in Robin’s arms. 

“I really should go get that firewood,” Robin said. He wrapped himself in one of the blankets, leaving the other one to keep Regina warm, and moved to pull on his clothes. They were a bit scattered around the room after the events of last night. 

“Just give me a second, I can help,” Regina said as she sat up from her position on the floor. Before she had a chance to get up, she let out a series of harsh, wet coughs into her elbow. 

“Maybe you ought to stay inside? That cough doesn’t sound good,” Robin told her. “I can get the firewood.” 

“I’m fine,” Regina said, brushing him off. She stood up and began pulling on her clothes that were now dry. “We should probably just get going anyway. We’ve already been gone longer than we expected. If we take much longer, Snow’s going to send an army to find us.” She broke off once more into a series of coughs. 

“I’m serious, Regina. I really don’t like the sound of that cough,” Robin repeated. He was very concerned about her. After everything that she went through yesterday, Regina didn’t need to get sick. She was already weak enough. 

“I’m alright. It’s just a cough. I did almost drown yesterday, so I think a cough is the least of my worries,” Regina told him as she pulled on her dress. “Let’s just head out and find that flower.” She walked towards the door and opened it. Instantly, she was met with a strong, cold wind that hit her in the face. A few inches of snow from the storm last night was still on the ground, but overall, the harsh weather seemed to have passed. Robin didn’t have a good feeling about leaving right now. He suspected that Regina was hiding how sick she truly felt, but he knew better than to argue with her. Ultimately, she was going to do what she wanted no matter what he said, so he gathered their things and followed the Queen out into the snow. “We shouldn’t be far from the flower. According to this book-” She broke off in another cough. After clearing her throat, she tried to resume talking. “The book says that the flower is hidden in the forest near an abandoned tower.”

“I know of that tower. I’ve seen it before,” Robin told her as he looked at the map in the book over Regina’s shoulder. “It’s a few miles away near the cliffs.” 

“Perfect, we should be there in no time,” Regina replied before putting her elbow over her mouth and coughing once more.

“Are you sure that you’re alright?” Robin asked. “You really don’t sound good.” 

“I promise, I’m fine,” Regina lied. “It’s just a tickle in my throat.” In reality, Regina was beginning to feel pretty sick. She was freezing and her throat was raw and sore. Worst of all, her chest felt tight and it was difficult to breathe. However, Regina was determined to find this flower. She could be sick after they found the one thing that could bring down Zelena. As they continued to walk, Regina continued to shiver and Robin couldn’t take it any longer. 

“Here, wear this,” Robin said as he took off his coat and placed it around her shoulders. 

“No, you need this,” Regina tried to say, but Robin cut her off. 

“Believe me, I’m alright. I can’t watch you shiver any longer,” he told her. “Besides, we’re nearly there.” 

“Thank you,” she muttered quietly, finally giving in to Robin’s attempts to take care of her. They continued to walk through the mountains until finally, they made it to the top. “It should be around here somewhere. It’ll probably be hidden. I’m sure that it wouldn’t be sitting out in the open.” Robin and Regina looked around. Near the edge of the cliff was what looked like a pile of leaves. 

“You don’t think that could be it, do you?” Robin asked her as he pointed at the pile. 

“I suppose it could be.” Regina and Robin walked over to the edge of the cliff. Both of them were surprised when the whole pile could be lifted in one piece. However, once the leaves were moved, they could see that there was nothing underneath but a pile of dug up dirt. 

“I don’t understand…” Regina said. “It should be right here.” 

“It almost looks like someone dug it up already,” Robin replied. “Regina, this doesn’t feel right. Something just feels wrong.” 

“Looking for something?” Came a voice from behind them. Regina and Robin turned around and behind them was Zelena with two of her monkeys on either side of her. 

“Zelena,” Regina growled. 

“Did you really think that you’d be able to beat me with a silly little flower?” She questioned. “It’s quite the coincidence that you found that exact book in your library that would lead you right here, don’t you think?” 

“You set us up,” Robin retorted. “That flower was never here to begin with.” 

“Wow, you’ve found a smart one, haven’t you, sis?” Zelena laughed. 

“You won’t get away with this!” Regina yelled. “We will find a way to beat you,” she added before coughing into her arm. 

“I don’t know about that,” Zelena smirked. “You’re not looking too well these days. Might be better if I let my pets just put you out of your misery now?” 

“Just stay back,” Robin warned as he stepped in front of Regina and positioned his bow at the witch. “I won’t let you hurt her.” 

“Oh, I won’t be,” Zelena teased. “I can say anything about my pets though. Tata now!” She said before poofing off in a fog of green smoke. As if on cue, the monkeys screeched and started to encroach on Regina and Robin. 

“We need to spread out. I’ll take one and you take the other,” Regina said before running from behind Robin to the opposite end of the cliff as one of the monkeys flew after her. Meanwhile, the other monkey cornered Robin and began to claw at him with its talons. Robin pulled his bow back and fired at the monkey, hitting it square in the eye with an arrow. The monkey screeched in pain and flew off in pain. 

At the opposite end of the cliff, Regina was throwing fireballs at the other monkey. However, her defense wasn’t very effective. The monkey just dodged the Queen’s attacks with ease. It flew in close to her and smacked Regina hard with its large wings. The blow was strong enough to send her flying backward onto the grass where she landed on her arm. As she hit the ground, Regina heard a crack and cried out in pain. With the amount of pain she was feeling, Regina knew her arm must be broken. She breathed fast as the beast got closer to her. It screeched and brought its arm up, ready to strike. Regina knew this wasn’t going to end well for her. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for the pain about to come her way, but was surprised when it didn’t come. Instead, she heard Robin scream and land on the ground next to her. “Robin!” She exclaimed as she looked at the man. There were huge gashes across his chest and he was bleeding profusely. He had jumped in front of her before the monkey could reach her. Once again, Robin had risked his life for her. She wanted to tend to him, but the beast was coming back. With her one good arm, Regina used all the power that she had in her and released one last fireball. This time the beast didn’t have time to dodge Regina’s attack. It was engulfed in flames and vanished before her eyes. 

Now, with both monkeys gone, Regina turned back to Robin who was groaning in pain. “Oh God, it’s going to be okay,” Regina said as she positioned herself next to Robin’s body. There was already so much blood on the ground gushing from Robin’s wounds. “This is going to hurt, but I have to put some pressure on this.” She used her good arm and pressed hard onto Robin’s chest and he let out a moan of pain. Regina could see that Robin was getting paler and paler with each passing minute. He was simply losing too much blood. It wasn’t long before Robin grew tired and his eyes started to close. “Robin, come on. Stay with me.” 

“I-I’m here,” he replied softly. 

“You have to stay awake. Think about Roland. He needs you.” Regina knew they were in trouble. There was no one around, no one to help them. Robin’s only shot was getting back to the castle where he could get care and even that wasn’t a guarantee that he’d be okay. The only other thing that she could do was healing magic...however, she had never been very good at it. With every ounce of strength she had, Regina stretched both of her arms over Robin’s body and she cried out in pain as she moved her injured arm. Her whole body was shaking but she tried to focus. She tried to channel her magic down into Robin’s wounds, but nothing happened. She simply didn’t have the strength left in her. Her last chance was poofing them back to the castle and then screaming for help. “I can do this. I can do this,” she repeated to herself. She focused all her magic and finally, they both were engulfed in purple smoke. When it cleared, Regina looked around and realized that they were back on the castle grounds. “Help! Someone, please! I need help!” she screamed. Luckily, two of Robin’s men were on patrol at the time and heard her cries. They ran over to the Queen and their leader. “Please, someone get Doc. He’s lost a lot of blood. I don’t know how much longer he can hold on.” 

“We’ve got him, Your Majesty,” The man replied as he and the other man lifted Robin’s body and began to carry him to the castle. Regina followed along weakly behind them. She could feel her body beginning to give out but she was running on pure adrenaline. When they made it to the foyer of the castle, Snow was standing there with Doc, Granny and some of the other dwarves. 

“Oh god, what happened?” Snow exclaimed as she surveyed the four of them rushing into the foyer. 

“It was an ambush!” Regina exclaimed. “Please, he needs help!” she added, pointing at Robin with her good arm. 

“Bring him this way, quickly! Granny, I could use your help as well,” Doc called as he followed Robin’s men as they made their way into a bedroom where they could lay Robin down. Regina tried to follow them but Snow stopped her. 

“What are you doing? I need to help him!” 

“Regina, you’re injured as well. You need medical care,” Snow told her. 

“I’ll be fine!” Regina retorted before doubling over and coughing harshly. Seeing Regina’s pale skin and flushed cheeks, Snow placed her hand on Regina’s forehead. 

“She’s burning up. Regina, we need to get you into bed and have someone look at that arm.” 

“No, I-I need to get to Robin. I-I…” Her words began to slur as her vision grew darker. 

“Regina? Regina, can you hear me?” Regina couldn’t reply. She could feel herself slipping away and then, everything was black. 

When Regina woke up hours later, she was in her bed and she could feel someone wetting her forehead with a washcloth. She groaned and tried to sit up, but a hand stopped her and forced her back down. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. Just rest. You’re going to be okay.” Regina opened her eyes and saw Snow sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“What’s happening? Where am I?” Regina asked as she looked around in confusion. 

“You’re safe. You’re at the castle,” Snow told her. “You’ve got a broken arm and a nasty case of pneumonia, but Doc thinks you’re going to be alright. Your fever still feels pretty high though.” Then, Regina remembered. She remembered falling through the ice, her night with Robin and the ambush set up by her sister. She remembered Robin’s pale and bloody body and her failed attempts at healing him. 

“Where’s Robin?” she asked, her voice laced with panic. 

“He’s alright as well. Little John is with him. Doc was able to stitch up his cuts and he’s got two broken ribs. He lost a lot of blood, but he should recover as well.” 

“I need to see him,” Regina replied stubbornly as she tried to sit up again. She broke off in another coughing fit that zapped almost any energy she had left. 

“What you need is rest,” Snow told her, once again forcing her to lie back down. “You’re in no condition to be walking around right now. Just rest. We’ve got both of you. You’re both safe.” Snow wet the washcloth in the bowl by Regina’s bed and placed it on Regina’s forehead once more. “Just go back to sleep. It’ll be fine. I promise.” With no energy left to fight, Regina began to drift off to sleep. She just kept repeating what Snow had said in her mind. She was okay. Robin was okay. They were both going to be okay. 

A few days later, Regina was feeling much better. Her fever had broken and her cough, though still there, was significantly better. Her arm was sore but also on the mend. Snow had been keeping a watchful eye on her and though Regina appreciated it, she needed a break. One night after dinner, Regina pulled on her green overcoat and wandered down the hallway to Robin’s room. She peeked inside and saw that he was awake. He looked better, more color to his face. He was still lying in bed. The gashes on his chest had begun to heal and he had white bandages wrapped around his torso to bind his ribs as they healed. “Hey,” she said softly as she leaned against the doorframe. 

“Hello, yourself,” Robin replied with a smile. 

“You look like crap.”

“Me? Have you taken a look in the mirror lately?” Robin retorted. 

“Just a little case of pneumonia. You know, nothing I can’t handle.” Robin laughed and groaned as he braced his ribs. 

“Don’t make me laugh.” 

“Don't tell me what to do, thief,” She teased. 

“I see we’re back to snarky banter.”

“Did we honestly ever stop?” Regina asked. There was silence between them until Robin decided to talk again. 

“In all seriousness, how are you doing?” He asked

“I’m alright. My fever broke yesterday. I still have this-“ She broke away to cough but was then able to compose herself. “...this cough, but it’s a lot better. My arm is sore but doing okay. And what about you?”

“I’m sore but healing,” Robin told her. “I guess that’s what I get for jumping in front of a killer flying monkey.” Regina looked down and bit on her lip nervously. Once again, she was reminded that she was the reason why Robin was injured and she couldn’t help but feel guilty about it. Robin seemed to notice that Regina looked upset and his face softened. “Regina… what’s the matter? I told you. I’m alright.” 

“You have to stop trying to save me,” Regina said abruptly. 

“What?” 

“Since we met, all you’ve been doing is saving me and it’s only been putting your life in jeopardy,” Regina began. 

“Regina-“ 

“Please, just let me finish,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. “Robin, you have no idea what it was like. There was just so much blood and you were so pale. I really thought you were going to die. I-I felt helpless...and I kept thinking of poor Roland. He already lost his mother. He can’t lose you too.” 

“And you don’t think I felt helpless when you were lying on that ice, completely cold and not breathing? Of course, I did. And whether or not you believe it, you saved me.” 

“No, I tried to heal you but it didn’t work,” she replied. 

“Regina, if you hadn’t transported us to the castle, neither one of us would have made it. You did that!” Regina still looked like she was going to cry so Robin extended his arm to her and said, “Come here.” She walked over to him and knelt on the bed. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” he assured her. “Now, rest your head on my chest. She laid down next to him and did as Robin said. “What do you hear?”

“Your heart.” 

“And I can practically feel yours beating in your chest. And that means that we’re both alive. We’re both okay. Now, close your eyes and rest because I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.” Regina snuggled into Robin’s side and allowed him to hold her. Wrapped in one another’s arms, they both drifted off to sleep. Just outside in the hallway, Snow looked for Regina. After discovering that she wasn’t in her room, she decided to move on to her second guess. She wandered down the hallway to Robin’s room and peeked quietly through the door. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw Robin and Regina tangled in one another’s arms. Even though they hadn’t gained a magical flower on their quest, it was clear that they had gained something even greater and more powerful. At that moment, Snow knew this was only the beginning for the Queen and the thief. 


	10. Chapter 10

The two weeks following the attack were a grueling recovery period for Robin. He had gotten his fair share of injuries over the years but never any this painful. Every time he breathed, it felt like knives were being stabbed into his side where his ribs were trying to repair themselves. The wounds left behind by Zelena’s beast stung painfully as the flesh tried to heal. The one good thing about the past two weeks was that Regina had been by his side the whole time. She brought him meals and dressed his wounds when his bandages needed changing. She even started to pay special attention to Roland and his needs. Robin couldn’t deny the major switch within Regina. It was as if someone had lit a fire within her again. She looked like a new woman. It was clear that she still missed Henry, but for the first time since meeting her, she looked genuinely happy. She looked like she had found a new purpose. 

Another thing that Robin couldn’t deny was how strong his feelings for Regina were becoming. She had gone from a woman who was so broken and helpless that Robin was scared for her life and now, here she was, caring for both him and her son. Their shared trauma had bonded them but it didn’t change the fact that they still barely knew each other. When he thought about it, Robin couldn’t think of many things that he knew about Regina. He knew she was stubborn and at times, arrogant, but she could also be incredibly kind and loving. He knew what demons she faced, but he couldn’t name any of the basics. What was her favorite color? Favorite food? Where did she grow up? How did she become the Evil Queen and what had convinced her to change? So much of Regina was still a mystery to him. Robin had never been very good at dealing with unanswered questions and the mystery of Regina was one that he very much wanted to solve. 

Their relationship had been less than conventional so far. Robin liked to think of himself as an honorable man and a traditional man. Normally, he’d never take a woman to bed so early in their relationship but there was something about Regina that made him want to throw caution to the wind. It was as if they were connected by some strand of fate. No matter how far they strayed, something just kept pulling them back to one another. Now that they were both healthy again, Robin saw this opportunity as a second chance and he had made up his mind. He was going to ask Regina to go on a date with him. 

After dinner one night, Robin found the strength to get himself out of bed. It was nearly 9 o’clock, which was Roland’s bedtime, so Robin knew just where to find Regina. Over the past two weeks, the two of them had perfected a bedtime routine that always ended with Regina reading the little boy stories until he drifted off to sleep. Up until this point, Robin had yet to see it with his own eyes, but tonight he was determined to capture the precious moment. He left his bedroom and padded down the hallway where Roland’s room was and quietly peeked in through the crack in the door. He could see Roland curled up on Regina’s lap, his head nestled into her chest. Not wanting to disrupt the moment, Robin simply leaned against the door and watched. 

“More stories, Gina.”   
“Alright, just one more,” Regina whispered to Roland who was already nearly asleep with his head on her chest. “Which one?” 

“The moon one,” he replied with a loud yawn. 

“ _ Goodnight Moon _ it is, my little knight,” Regina replied. She grabbed the book from the bookshelf next to the rocking chair, opened it, and began to read: 

_ “In the great green room _

_ There was a telephone _

_ And a red balloon  _

_ And a picture of _

_ The cow jumping over the moon”  _

Regina glanced down at Roland. His eyelids had fluttered closed and he was breathing rhythmically against her chest. She would have assumed that he was asleep until his little voice said, “Keep reading, Gina.” 

“Okay, I’m going,” Regina replied as she turned the page. 

_ “And there were three little bears sitting on chairs _

_ And two little kittens  _

_ And a pair of mittens _

_ And a little toy house _

_ And a young mouse _

_ And a comb and a brush and bowl full of mush  _

_ And a quiet lady who was whispering ‘hush’”  _

At this point, Roland was drifting in and out of consciousness. She knew that he had to be beyond tired. It had been a long day for both of them. They had spent the day playing in the garden, skipping stones in the river and baking a fresh apple pie in the kitchen (when Granny wasn’t looking, of course. The old woman wasn’t too keen on sharing her kitchen). Taking care of Roland, making him happy, gave Regina a sense of purpose. It made her feel like a mother again...not that Roland could replace Henry. No one could replace Henry. Nevertheless, she and Roland had gotten a bedtime routine down to a science. After dinner, it was bathtime, which Roland absolutely loved. Regina swore that boy must be part fish because he never seemed to want to get out of the tub. She figured that after spending the first few years of his life bathing in the river, a simple bathtub must feel like a luxury jacuzzi. After Regina managed to coax Roland from the bath, she helped change him into pajamas and then, it was her favorite time of the day...storytime. Roland almost always fell asleep on her lap as she read. Often, even after she was done reading, Regina would cuddle the little boy and savor every moment. She hadn’t been able to do this for years, even with Henry who was far too big for cuddling and stories. 

“Gina,” came a soft whine which shook Regina from her thoughts. 

“Okay, I’m reading,” Regina said. 

_ “Goodnight room _

_ Goodnight moon _

_ Goodnight cow jumping over the moon _

_ Goodnight light _

_ And the red balloon  _

_ Goodnight bears _

_ Goodnight chairs _

_ Goodnight kittens _

_ And goodnight mittens _

_ Goodnight clocks _

_ And goodnight socks  _

_ Goodnight little house  _

_ And goodnight little mouse  _ _   
_ _ Goodnight comb  _

_ And goodnight brush _

_ Goodnight nobody  _

_ Goodnight mush  _

_ And goodnight to the old lady whispering ‘hush’  _

_ Goodnight stars _

_ Goodnight air _

_ Goodnight noises everywhere.”  _

“The end,” Regina said as she shut the cover of the book. At this point, Roland was fast asleep against her chest. As she held Roland securely, Regina eased herself up from the rocking chair and tiptoed over to the bed. With one hand, she pulled the covers back and placed the little boy on the mattress. “Goodnight, Roland,” she whispered as she pulled the covers up to his chin and pressed a kiss to his forehead. She ran her fingers through his curly locks one last time before turning towards the door. She gasped and clutched her chest when she saw that someone had been watching her. 

“You scared me!” she hissed softly in an attempt to keep Roland from waking up. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed, thief?” Regina asked as she walked into the hallway. 

“I’ve been in bed for two weeks,” Robin replied. “I couldn’t take it any longer. Besides, I missed my son. I see that he’s been just fine without me.” 

“Not true,” Regina replied. “He’s been asking for his Papa nearly every day. I told him you were healing, which is what you should still be doing.” 

“Doc checked me out earlier and said I was as good as new, which is a miracle because if I had to spend one more moment lying in that bed I was going to go insane. I’ve never been terribly good at staying out of the action and sitting on my hands,” he laughed. 

“You don’t say?” Regina teased. 

“In all seriousness, I can’t thank you enough, Regina...for helping to take care of me and Roland,” he began. “I know that we haven’t known each other for that long but it’s no secret that I-I’ve developed real feelings for you,” Robin stuttered. Regina could see that he was visibly nervous. He looked to be sweating slightly and he was nervously rubbing his hands together. She had never seen him like this before. He always appeared so confident. Seeing him like this was making Regina nervous herself. “I was wondering...umm...now that we’re both well again, if you’d want to maybe...go on a proper date with me?” 

“I...ummm…” Before she could even answer, Robin cut her off. 

“I’m sorry if that was a bit forward. I just feel like we’ve done this whole thing backward. We’ve already been through so much together, but we’ve barely gotten the opportunity to get to know one another...and I’d really like to get to know you.” 

Regina didn’t know what to say. She definitely had feelings for Robin and they had certainly grown closer since their first meeting, but she wasn’t ready to put a label on what they had. Though she was a full-grown woman, Regina didn’t really have any dating experience. Daniel was the last man that she had real feelings for and they didn’t get the opportunity to go on a real date. Their relationship had consisted of stolen moments when her mother wasn’t watching. Robin was the first man since Daniel that Regina even wanted to get to know. Though she wanted to say yes, something was holding her back. 

“Robin, I really do enjoy whatever it is that we have,” she began as she watched a smile form on Robin’s face. “...but I-I can’t go on a date with you. Not right now. I’m sorry,” she stuttered out before walking away from the thief. She ran off down the hallway and headed straight for her chambers. Once there, she ran inside and locked the door behind her. “God, why couldn’t I just say yes?” she muttered to herself as she paced her bedroom. She knew that Robin was a good man. He had proven that to her. He had saved her life...not one or two times, but three times and he had taken care of her during one of her darkest days. Despite everything that Robin had done for her, despite the kindness he had shown here, Regina still couldn’t let her walls down enough to let Robin into her life any further. After years of being controlled, abused and heartbroken, Regina simply didn’t know how to allow herself to be vulnerable, even with the possibility of happiness in her future. She had been around long enough to know that in her life, happiness rarely came her way. At this point, she didn’t think her heart could take another blow. 

After a sleepless night, Regina found herself in the garden as the sun rose. She stared down at the grass as she obsessed over Robin’s offer from last night. She felt herself starting to spiral again and she needed to talk to someone. All of these feelings were just too much for her to process on her own. As if on cue, Snow White walked in the garden and walked up to her stepmother. 

“Can I sit?” she asked. Regina nodded. “It’s a bit early to be up, isn’t it?” 

“You’re up.” 

“That’s true, but I’ve always been an early riser. You... on the other hand, not so much,” Snow pointed out “Something on your mind?” Regina stayed silent. “Regina, I know you well enough to know when you’re upset about something. Is this about Robin?” Regina’s eyes grew wide and Snow knew that she was on the right track. “You two seem to be getting a lot closer.” Regina just shrugged her shoulders. “Did something happen with him? Did he hurt you? Do I need to get my bow and arrows? He may never miss but I’m a pretty good shot myself.” 

“God, no. He didn’t do anything,” Regina laughed. “...well, nothing bad.” 

“But he did do  _ something _ ?” 

Regina sighed. She knew that Snow wasn’t going to give up here. “He...he asked me on a date.” The statement felt stupid coming out of her mouth. Here she was a full-grown woman gossiping about a boy like a teenage girl. 

“A date?!? What did you say? Where are you both going?” Snow exclaimed. 

“I-I told him that I couldn’t go,” Regina answered timidly.

“What? Are you crazy? Why would you say no?” 

“I-I don’t know…” 

“Regina, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Robin is head over heels for you. And, he’s a kind man. Why wouldn’t you just give him a chance?” Snow told her. “I think that he’d be really good for you.” 

“Did you ever think that I might not be good for him?” Regina shot back. “I am abundantly aware of how good of a man he is and he has a son that I adore. And, I know it’s not rational...but I can’t help but think that he’d be better off without me. Since meeting me, I’ve put him into three different life-threatening situations, situations that could have taken Robin from his son. If I’ve learned anything throughout my life, it’s that fate is not kind to those who take an interest in me.” 

Snow sighed and took Regina’s hand into her own. “Can I be honest with you?” 

“Nothing’s ever stopped you before.” 

“I think that you’re just scared,” Snow told her. “ I’ve known you for a long time, Regina and I know you keep your heart locked up pretty tight. But I also know that you feel things deeply and with your whole soul, so just the thought of opening yourself up to possibly getting hurt is hard for you. But you owe it to yourself to give him a shot. You can't live in fear and run away from any possibility of happiness. Henry would want you to be happy.” Regina knew that Snow was right. She had let fear run her life for such a long time. Maybe it was time for her to take some risks. 

“You’re right…” Regina conceded. 

“So, you’ll give him a chance?” Snow asked. 

“Yes, I’ll give him a chance.” 

“I’m proud of you,” Snow replied as she smiled back at Regina. “Now, go and tell him. I saw him heading down to the river.”

“Okay, I will,” Regina replied. “Thank you, Snow.” 

“Go!” Snow prompted as she pushed her off the bench and towards the direction of the river. Regina started walking down to the river bank and she could feel her heart pounding inside of her chest. Nervous energy propelled her forward and before she knew it she was practically running. As she got closer she could see Robin sitting on a rock tossing stones into the water. 

“Robin!” she called to get his attention. 

“Regina? What is it? Is something wrong?” he asked frantically as he stood up. 

“No…nothing’s wrong,” she replied breathlessly as she tried to catch her breath. “I-I...yes.” 

“Yes, what?” 

“Yes, to your date. I-I’ve changed my mind,” she told him. “I-I’d very much like to go on a date with you...if the invitation is still open.” A huge smile formed on Robin’s face.

“The invitation is always open, milady,” Robin replied. “Now, what do you say we head up to the castle for some of Granny’s breakfast?” 

“I’d say that sounds like a plan,” Regina agreed. She couldn’t believe that she had just said yes to Robin’s date proposal. Sure, it had been less than eloquent but it was a big step for her. Now, all she could do was throw caution to the wind and let fate take over. She only hoped that fate would be much kinder to her than it had been in the past. 


	11. Chapter 11

“No, no...hate this one,” Regina muttered as she thumbed through her wardrobe. Today was her date with Robin and though she was trying to stay calm, inside Regina was freaking out. Her stomach felt like it was being occupied by a thousand wild butterflies. She hadn’t been on a date...well, ever and the fact that Robin was keeping the agenda of their date a secret wasn’t helpful. Regina had never been a fan of surprises. While she continued to look for something to wear, she heard a knock on her bedroom door, and Snow peeked her head inside. 

“Why aren’t you dressed? You’re supposed to meet Robin in a half an hour!” 

“I hate all of my clothes,” Regina groaned. “I don’t know why I spent so many years wearing tight corsets, but I’m sick of them. Just...nothing feels right.” 

“There has to be something in here,” Snow said as she walked into Regina’s chambers. She walked up to the wardrobe and gently nudged Regina out of the way so she could have a look for herself. She paged through the dresses until she got to the back of the closet and her eyes lit up. “What about this?” Snow exclaimed. She pulled out a cream-colored dress with a lace overlay embellished with an intricate beaded pattern. 

“That?” Regina questioned. “I don’t think I’ve worn that since I was a teenager.” 

“Just try it on! It’s beautiful!” Regina rolled her eyes and took the dress from Snow’s hands. With a wave of her hand, she was engulfed in purple smoke and the dress appeared on her body. Surprisingly, it still fit like a glove. Regina looked into the mirror and twirled side to side to see the full picture. “Regina, you look amazing!” 

“You really think so? You don’t think I look too old for it?” 

“No! I think that you look beautiful,” Snow reassured her. “Now, for your hair.” 

“What about my hair?” Regina questioned as she grabbed the pins that she always used to secure her hair into one of her signature updos. 

“I think you should leave it down.”

“But I always put it up,” Regina countered. “It’s much too long.” 

“Just trust me,” Snow said. She grabbed the clip from Regina’s hands and used it to pull back a small amount of Regina’s hair. The hairstyle framed Regina’s face but also made sure that her long curly locks weren’t in her eyes. “There, now you look perfect.” Snow glanced at the clock. “You better get going. You don’t want to keep Robin waiting.” 

“Snow - I…” Regina stuttered. Snow could tell that Regina was nervous so she just reached out and grabbed her stepmother’s hand. 

“It’s going to be alright,” she assured her. “Just keep your heart open and give him a chance.” 

“What if something goes wrong?” Regina replied quietly. “What if I say something stupid and make a fool out of myself or-or what if he decides that asking me on a date was a mistake? Maybe...maybe this is just a bad idea.” 

“Though I don’t think Robin will regret asking you on this date, you’ll never know unless you try. Don’t let fear stop you from living your life.” 

“Okay, fine…” Regina agreed as she let out a long sigh. She knew Snow was right. “I-I guess I should get going.”

“I want to hear all about it later tonight,” Snow told her with an optimistic smile. Regina returned the sentiment with a nod and a nervous smile before leaving her bedroom. She wandered down the corridor to the main entrance where she had agreed to meet Robin. 

“Everything’s going to be alright,” she muttered to herself. When she reached the main hall, she was surprised because she was greeted, not by Robin, but by Little John. “Is Robin around? I’m supposed to be meeting him here.” 

“He asked me to tell you to meet him down at the stables. He’s got a surprise planned for you,” Little John answered. 

“I don’t like surprises.” 

“Robin also said that you’d say that,” the burly man replied with a chuckle. “Don’t shoot the messenger.” Little John held his hands up in defense as Regina backed away and made her way towards the stables. When she had pictured this date in her head, she hadn’t planned on being surrounded by horses and manure. It made her question what Robin was thinking. She approached the barn door and peeked her head inside. 

“Robin?” she called. 

“Milady, you’re here!” he chorused as he poked his head out of a horse stall. 

“I am. Why are we... _ here _ ?” she asked tentatively, a look of disgust on her face as she looked around the smelly barn. 

“Where else could we procure trusty steeds for the day?” Robin remarked, a smirk on his face. “I’ve heard from a little birdy that you’re quite the rider.” 

“I-I used to be when I was younger,” Regina stuttered. It had been decades since she last rode. “...but it’s been a very long time.” 

“Well, there’s no better time than the present to get back into an old hobby.” Robin walked over to her with a large chestnut horse following close behind. Without a second thought, he handed the reins over to Regina. “Hold onto him, I’ll go and grab your saddle,” he added. 

“Wait!” Regina called before he could walk away. “I-I like to ride bareback.” 

“As the lady wishes,” Robin replied. He entered into the next stall and grabbed his own horse for the day. “Shall we?” he asked, directing Regina towards the exit of the barn. Together, they walked out with their horses. “Do you need a leg up?” 

“No, I think I can manage.” Luckily, Regina hadn’t picked one of her tighter dresses so there was a chance that swinging her leg over this horse might actually work. She gave the horse a soft pet on the forehead to prepare the animal before she grabbed onto the hair of its mane. With his mane securely tightly in her grasp, Regina jumped and threw her leg over the body of the horse and then used the hair to pull herself up. “There,” she proclaimed breathlessly as she sat up straight on the horse’s back. 

“Well done,” Robin replied once he had mounted his own horse. 

“Now, are you going to tell me what we’re doing today?” 

“I can’t give away all my secrets,” he teased. “We should get going though. Follow me. I’ll start slow until you get comfortable riding again.” 

“Don’t take it slow on my behalf,” Regina quipped back. “I can keep up.” 

“Very well,” Robin agreed. He pulled on his horse’s reins and took off down the path. Without a bridle or reins, Regina gripped onto the horse’s mane and kicked her heels into the horse’s side to make him move. The horse took off and galloped down the path. Regina felt invigorated as the wind blew through her hair. She had forgotten how freeing it felt to ride. Eventually, Regina was able to catch up with Robin and the two raced through the forest side by side. They rode until eventually, they made it to a clearing hidden deep within the forest. “Woah,” Robin said to get his horse to come to a halt. 

“Where are we?” Regina asked as she looked around. She had never been to this part of the forest before. 

“We’re at the location for the first part of our date,” Robin said as he walked over to Regina and her horse. He extended a hand upwards to her and proceeded to help Regina jump off of her horse. 

“But we’re in the middle of the forest…” 

“Just trust me,” he pleaded as he reached for Regina’s hand. The queen complied and allowed Robin to lead her through the forest. 

“Are those…archery targets?” she questioned. 

“They are,” Robin replied. “I figured since horseback riding was one of your hobbies, I wanted to share one of mine with you.” 

“I thought that bow and arrow of yours was just your weapon of choice,” Regina retorted. “Attacking people is a hobby now?” 

“Well, it is my weapon of choice,” Robin agreed. “However, archery is a bit of an art. It takes practice and skill.” 

“So, I’m just going to be watching you shoot?” Regina asked. This wasn’t exactly her idea of fun.

“Well, of course not,” Robin replied. “You’re going to be the one doing the shooting.” 

“Me? I don’t know the first thing about shooting an arrow.” 

“That’s why I’m going to teach you.” Robin walked over to the supplies he had laid out for the two of them. “It’s really very simple. You just line up the arrow in the bow, focus on your target, and let the arrow fly.” Robin released his arrow and it soared across the clearing until it hit the red bullseye in the center of the target. “See? Now, it’s your turn.” 

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” Regina muttered. 

“Just give it a try. For me?” he asked. Regina couldn’t resist his big blue eyes staring back at her, pleading with her to give in. 

“Fine,” she groaned. She walked over and took the bow from Robin. She clumsily threaded the arrow through the bow and pulled back on the string. When she released the string, she expected the arrow to fly through the air as Robin’s did but instead it fell pitifully to the ground. “That didn’t happen,” Regina replied quickly. “You didn’t see that!”

“See what?” Robin answered back coyly. He didn’t want to upset Regina and if he was being honest, he was enjoying seeing Regina struggle a bit at this. She was a stubborn woman and he knew that she didn’t quit easily. Regina let out a huff of frustration and picked up the arrow. She rethreaded it through the arrow and pulled back on the string. This time, the arrow soared through the air but it didn’t come remotely close to hitting the target. Instead, it crashed into the bushes. Robin tried to contain his laughter but he couldn’t help it and a chuckle slipped out. 

“This isn’t funny” Regina snapped, clearly frustrated. “Why would I ever need to shoot this obsolete weapon anyway? I have magic!” 

“Do you mind if I help you?” Robin asked calmly. 

“I don’t see the use. I’m clearly no good at this...but I suppose you could try.” Robin walked up to her and handed her a new arrow. 

“Alright, show me your stance?” 

“My what?” 

“Your stance,” Robin clarified. “Get ready to shoot the arrow.” Regina pulled the string of the bow back and held it up. Instantly, Robin could see that she was much too tense. “First of all, relax,” he coaxed. 

“I am relaxed.” 

“Clearly,” Robin replied sarcastically. “Next, lower your elbow down,” he added as he gently placed his hand on Regina’s elbow and pushed on it until it was level with her shoulder. “Now, anchor yourself with your mouth.”

“Do what with my mouth?” Regina questioned. 

“Just let your hand touch your mouth,” Robin explained. Regina did what she was told and allowed her hand to rest against her chin. Then, Robin reached out and grabbed onto her other hand that was holding the end of the bow. “Relax this hand.” Regina tried to relax but it was difficult with Robin so close to her. He made her nervous. His body was pressed against her and she released how safe, how confident, she felt when she was in his arms. “Now, breathe out...and release.” Regina let out a big breath and let the string slip from her fingers. The arrow left the bow and flew straight into the target. She looked at it in disbelief. 

“I did it!” Regina exclaimed in disbelief. 

“I knew you could,” Robin told her. “Now, with just a little more practice, you may become almost as good as me.” 

“You wish, thief,” she quipped. “A few more tries and I may be even better than you.” Robin could only laugh. He had to admire her determination. After a few more rounds of target practice, Robin decided they should move on to the second part of their date. 

“If the lady’s done, I think it’s best if we move on to the next part of this date,” Robin said. 

“There’s more to this date than just archery?” Regina asked. 

“The day is young,” Robin told her. “...and this date has only just begun.” He extended her hand towards Regina and waited for her to take it. “I’ll lead the way.” Regina took his hand and allowed Robin to lead her further into the forest. 

“Are we going to practice with another weapon?” Regina asked sarcastically. 

“No,” Robin replied. “I think you’ll like this next stop.” After ensuring that the horses were tied up, Robin led Regina down a trail hidden deep within the forest. They stumbled over stones and fallen branches, each step taking them further and further from civilization. After they had been walking for some time, Regina started to hear the familiar sound of rushing water. Robin pulled back on a few tree branches and there in front of them was the most beautiful waterfall that she had ever seen. The water was a crystal blue color and it cascaded down into a stream. The scene was peaceful. Other than the water, the only other sounds audible were the playful chirps of birds singing happily in the trees. 

“Oh wow,” Regina said as she looked up in amazement. “This-this is beautiful. I didn’t even know this was here.” 

“It’s one of my favorite spots,” Robin told her. “I used to come here as a boy and play in the waterfall and go fishing. Now, I like to come here just to think. It’s a nice quiet, private spot.” 

“It seems like a very special spot to you.” 

“It is,” Robin told her. “But come, I haven’t shown you the best part yet.” He led Regina towards the waterfall and she hesitated for a second. 

“If you’re planning on getting me wet, I’d like to remind you of the last time the two of us ended up in a body of water together. It didn’t end well,” She joked. Robin chuckled in response. 

“Believe me, I think we’ve both learned our lessons,” he told her. “Where we’re going you don’t have to worry about getting wet.” Hand in hand, Robin led Regina through the stream until they had reached the waterfall. Just behind the rushing water was a small platform of stone that was just big enough for the two of them to sit on. It was clear that Robin had been here earlier because there was a blanket laid out on the stone along with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. “Is this more of what you were thinking of when I asked you on a date?” 

“I- I’m definitely not disappointed,” Regina replied with a smile. They both took a seat on the blanket and Robin opened the bottle of wine and poured it into two glasses. 

“A glass for the lady,” he said as he extended the glass to Regina. 

“Thank you,” she replied before taking a sip of the wine. “How on earth did you ever find such a beautiful place?” 

“I just happened upon it one day,” Robin told her. “I spent a lot of time alone as a child. I’d often just go walking in the forest to see what I could find. This place...it really found me. When I was young, it felt magical. I’ve been coming back ever since.” 

“I would have loved to have a place like this to go when I was a girl,” Regina told him. “A place to be free.” she muttered before taking a sip of her wine. “But I don’t want to talk about my childhood, let’s talk about something else.” 

“Okay…” Robin began. “What’s your favorite color?” 

“My favorite color?” Regina laughed. “That’s the stimulating date conversation we’re going to have.” 

“Well, you wanted a change in the conversation…are you going to answer me?” 

“You really want to know my favorite color?” Robin continued to look at her, clearly waiting for an answer. “Fine. It’s black.” 

“Black? Black is the absence of all colors. That doesn't count.” 

“You can’t tell me my favorite color doesn’t count!” Regina laughed. “Besides, black goes with everything. It’s a universal color. What’s your favorite color?” 

“Green.” 

“Figures,” Regina huffed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Robin demanded. 

“The forest man loves green...I mean it’s just kind of obvious,” she told him. 

“Whatever,” He grumbled. “New question. Are you a morning or night person?” Regina bit her lip and thought about it for a second. 

“Morning.” 

“Really? Tell me why.” 

“I don’t know,” Regina laughed. “I guess I just like the calmness. Everything is still quiet, the sun is rising, it’s a new beginning. Whatever happened the day before can be put behind you. You’ve got another shot to make that day a good one. What about you?” 

“Oh, easy, night time,” Robin responded. 

“And why?” 

“I like the mystery. It’s dark and you don’t know what lies ahead.” 

“But isn’t that scary? I mean...what if it’s something bad?” Regina questioned. 

“I like to think of it as thrilling. Instead of it being something bad, what if it’s something wonderful? You never can know until you’re in the thick of something and at that point, you’re so caught up in whatever comes your way that you don’t have time to think about whether it’s bad or not...besides some of my most memorable heists were at night.” 

“How about you tell me about one of those.” 

“My heists?” Robin asked and Regina nodded. “Hmmm….let me think. There have certainly been many. One of them ended with an arrow in Little John’s behind which was certainly hilarious, well not for him, but for the rest of us.” 

“Were you ever caught during one of these heists?” Regina asked. 

“Not often. There was one time,” Robin told her. “I was young at the time, maybe eleven. It was one of my first heists, but I remember it like it was yesterday…” 

_ *flashback*  _

_ The sun had just set when Robin decided to start his latest heist. He had been staking out this particular castle for a while and he knew that there were many valuable items inside. However, he knew this was risky because a witch lived inside this castle. Nevertheless, being young and arrogant, Robin felt that he was good enough to break in without getting caught. After skillfully climbing a large oak tree, Robin stretched as far as he could until he reached the ledge of a second-story window. He used his knife and picked the lock until the window creaked open. Quietly, Robin climbed off of the branch and in through the window. When he got inside, he realized that he was in the bedroom of a little girl. Toys were cluttered in the corners and in the center of the room was a large canopy bed with a little girl tucked under the covers. Robin mentally cursed himself for choosing this window to break into. Originally he had thought it to be an empty guest room.  _

_ With no other option but to move forward, Robin began to tiptoe through the bedroom. As he moved through the bedroom, he prayed that the little girl would remain sleeping. When he made it to the bedroom door, Robin audibly let out a sigh of relief. He wandered downstairs, began to look around and his eyes grew wide. There were valuable items everywhere. There were vases, pieces of silver, and other items that Robin figured had to be worth something. He walked around and began picking up some of the items and stashing them in his sack. Robin felt like this might turn out to be his most successful heist yet when suddenly, the unthinkable happened.  _

_ “What are you doing?” came a tiny voice from behind him. With his heart beating a mile a minute, Robin turned around and came face to face with the little girl from before.  _

_ “I-I..” he stammered.  _

_ “Those are ours, not yours.”  _

_ “No, I-I guess your right.”  _

_ “Why are you stealing from us? Stealing is wrong!” the little girl asked.  _

_ “I-I suppose you’re right but I’m doing it for a good reason. You’re lucky, you have all these things but there are people out there who don’t even have enough to eat. Just one of these items could buy those people food for a week, maybe longer,” Robin replied in an attempt to defend himself. It wasn’t a complete lie. He was going to use this money to buy food…it was just food to feed himself. Since his mother had died, things were rough. He didn’t have a home and never knew where his next meal was coming from. He didn’t really like stealing from people, but he was good at it and Robin knew that he’d never make it if he didn’t steal. “Please, I’ll leave. I-I’ll just go.”  _

_ The little girl went to speak but suddenly, they both heard footsteps above them. “I think I heard something, Henry!”  _

_ “It sounds like it’s coming from downstairs,” a man’s voice replied. Robin started to panic. He had been caught and now he was going to have to face the witch.  _

_ “There’s a backdoor through that hallway. Go!” The little girl whispered.  _

_ “Your vase-” he started.  _

_ “Take it! Just go!” Robin gave the little girl a look of thanks before he sprinted down the hallway and out of the house.”  _

_ *flashback end*  _

“I’ll never forget that heist and I’ll never forget that little girl,” Robin said. “From that day on, I set a rule for myself. Never go into a job without a solid exit plan. I learned humility from that heist. I learned that arrogance doesn’t get you anywhere. And from that point on, I decided that when I stole I truly would give what I took to the poor. That little girl showed me kindness and I wanted to return that kindness to others.” When Robin stopped talking he looked over at Regina and she was staring at him with wide eyes. “What?” he asked with a laugh. “Don’t clam up on me now. You knew I was a thief when I asked you on this date.”

“I-It’s just that...the little girl in your story...that-that was me.” 

“What? No. What are you talking about?” Robin questioned. 

“I remember now. I remember that night,” Regina said. “I had to be seven or eight years old at the time. I woke up to a noise downstairs and I saw that my window was open and I never let my window open. I crept downstairs and I-I saw a boy taking things off the mantle. I-It was you.” 

“You let me go. You saved me that night.” 

“I'm glad I did. I’m sure my mother wouldn’t have spared you the same kindness,” Regina confessed. “That’s just crazy that we met so long ago but don’t remember one another.” 

“It’s like fate just keeps pulling us back together,” Robin told her. At that moment, Robin and Regina looked deep within each other's eyes as if they were trying to remember one another from years ago. Gradually, they leaned closer and closer until eventually, their lips met. They kissed passionately until finally, their lips parted. “Well, what do you say we finish our date with some food. I don’t know about you but I’m famished.” 

“I can definitely go for some food,” Regina told him. 

“Then let’s head out.” Together, they walked hand in hand through the forest back to where their horses were tied up. They rode out of the forest and into town where they stopped at a tavern. “This is one of my favorite places to eat,” Robin said as he hopped off his horse and then proceeded to help Regina off of hers. Regina looked around. This tavern looked familiar but she didn’t remember eating there before. She never ate at establishments like this when she was a child. They were unacceptable for a royal like her mother and when she married Leopold, there were servants to cook for her. She stared up at the sign that hung above the door. There were no words to reveal what the name of the tavern was. Instead, there was a green blob looking figure that kind of looked like a face. Before Regina could look closer, Robin pulled her inside and they walked up to the bar. “Two scotches,” Robin called to the barkeep. 

“It’s weird. I feel like I’ve been here before,” Regina said softly. 

“I’ve certainly spent my fair share of nights here,” Robin confessed with a laugh. When the man behind the bar set the scotches down, Robin slid one over to Regina to pick up. “I’d like to propose a toast,” he began.

“A toast to what?” she asked with a smile. 

“A toast to new beginnings. A toast to the two of us giving this a shot. A toast to fate for pulling us back to one another. Cheers!” Robin proclaimed. He held his glass out and waited for Regina to clink her drink with his. As he did that, Regina glanced down and happened to notice something on his wrist. It was a tattoo. Upon looking closer, Regina could see that it was a tattoo of a lion. Suddenly, it hit her. She was thrown back to years ago when she met a certain fairy trying to prove herself. She remembered following the green pixie dust through the town until she reached a tavern...a tavern with a strange green sign. She remembered a man sitting right through the front door, his arm marked by a black lion tattoo. Now, everything made sense. The man with the lion tattoo was Robin. And if that was true, another fact was abundantly clear to her now. Robin Hood was her soul mate. 


	12. Chapter 12

Regina couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen the tattoo before. For weeks, she and Robin had been growing closer, yet today was the first time she had noticed the lion on the thief’s forearm. Her mind was reeling as she was hit with waves of deja vú. She remembered the day that Tinkerbell had led her to this very tavern many years ago...

_ *flashback*  _

_ “Now watch,” Tinkerbell instructed as she sent a ray of green pixie dust out into the world.  _

_ “What’s that?” Regina asked.  _

_ “That is your happy ending. He’s down there,” the fairy told her as they flew through the sky. Tinkerbell guided the two of them to a nearby town as they followed the trail of green pixie dust. The trail led them to a nearby tavern. “Inside here lies the beginning of your happiness. All the pain in your past will be just that - the past.”  _

_ Regina inhaled sharply as her nerves began to overwhelm her. “I just need a moment.”  _

_ “You’re nervous. I get it. But look, there he is!” Regina quickly stepped up to the tavern door and peered inside. “The guy with the lion tattoo.”  _

_ ‘That’s him?”  _

_ “Pixie dust doesn’t lie,” The fairy told her. “Come on. This is your chance at love and happiness. A fresh start, no baggage. You can let go of all the anger that weighs you down. Go get him.” _

_ “Okay,” Regina said. “Okay, I can do this. I can be happy,” she told herself.  _

_ “I know you can. Go,” Tinkerbell replied before leaving so Regina could finally have her happily ever after. After Tinkerbell walked away, Regina peered through the tavern door. She could do this. All she had to do was walk inside and meet her soulmate. She could finally let go of all the anger she was harboring and move on. She placed her hand on the doorknob and opened the door. As soon as the door was opened, Regina felt an intense sense of fear come over her. What if this man didn’t like her? What if she gave up everything for him and he turned her down like everyone in her past had done? What if she let go of her anger and got nothing in return? Regina wondered what would be left of her. The answer seemed very simple at the time. Nothing. She’d have nothing left. Without all of her anger to hold her down, Regina felt as though she just might float away. No. She couldn’t do that...she wouldn’t. She slammed the tavern door and decided to run, run in the opposite direction of her soulmate.  _

_ *flashback ends*  _

“Regina, are you alright?” Robin asked. All of a sudden, Robin had noticed something come over the woman. She seemed caught up in her own thoughts. “Regina?” He tried once more. 

“I-I’m fine,” Regina replied shakily, finally breaking free of her own thoughts. “I-I’m just going to run to the restroom quickly,” She told Robin as she set her drink down. Regina walked through the tavern back to the restrooms and felt her breathing start to pick up. She ran into the bathroom and closed herself in the stall. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and waves of the past began to hit her once more. 

_ *flashback*  _

_ After running back home, Regina sat on her bed and tried to process what she had just done. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be happy...not after what had happened to Daniel. Daniel was her true love and he was gone….and it was her fault. Without him, Regina didn’t want to be happy. As if on cue, she heard the sound of wings fluttering and looked up to see that Tinkerbell had returned. “How’d it go?” she asked.  _

_ “Uh...it was…”  _

_ “What happened? I don’t understand. You’re not glowing with new love. You should be glowing.” Regina couldn’t bear to tell Tinkerbell that she hadn’t gone in, so she put up her walls once more and looked sharply at the fairy.  _

_ “Because it didn’t work,” Regina retorted. “The pixie dust- it was wrong. I went in and met him and he was awful. He was just awful,”  _

_ “Are you sure you went to the right man?” the fairy asked.  _

_ “Yes, the one with the lion tattoo. That wasn’t the problem.”  _

_ “Then what was?”  _

_ “You.” Regina shot back.  _

_ “Me?”  _

_ “Yes, you. You’re a terrible fairy.”  _

_ “You didn’t go in, did you?” Tinkerbell asked with a sigh.  _

_ “How dare you.” Regina retorted.  _

_ “It’s okay. You were afraid.”  _

_ “I’m not afraid of anything! I can’t believe I let you distract me.” _

_ “No. Don’t do it!” Tinkerbell pleaded. “What you need is love.”  _

_ “I had love, and he’s dead!” Regina yelled. “And I suffered. And what you sent me toward wasn’t going to change that. Goodbye.”  _

_ “What about me?” Tinkerbell asked sadly. “I stole for you, and for nothing. I’m in big trouble.”  _

_ “As I said you’re a terrible fairy…”  _

_ “I thought we were friends,” Tinkerbell added.  _

_ “I don’t have friends,” Regina replied. “Fly away, moth. Don’t let the doors catch your wings on the way out.”  _

_ *flashback ends*  _

Regina hated to admit it, but she needed to talk to someone about this. She knew it couldn’t be Snow. It had to be someone who understood her past and there was only one person who fit that bill. Feeling the need to run once more, Regina used her magic and transported herself out of the tavern...once again, running away from her soulmate. She appeared in front of a door to a tiny cottage not far from the tavern. She knocked, but there was no reply, so she knocked once more. She waited, but it seemed like no one was going to answer the door. Regina was just about to walk away when finally, the door opened. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“We need to talk,” Regina said. “I-I need to talk.” 

“Why would I do anything for you?”   
“Because...Tinkerbell. You’re a better person than I am,” Regina began, tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. “Please…I’m at my breaking point and I need someone to talk some sense into me. You’ve always been honest with me and I need that right now. I know we have a complicated history, but right now, you’re the only one I can talk to. Please…” The fairy looked at the woman in front of her and Tinkerbell knew that she had never seen Regina like this. Part of her still hated Regina for what she had done to her in the past, but they had worked through a few of their issues in Neverland, so she decided to give her a chance. 

“Fine,” she sighed. “Come in.” Tinkerbell opened the door to her cottage and allowed Regina to come inside. “Do you want some coffee?” 

“I could use something a little stronger.” Tinkerbell walked over and grabbed a hidden bottle of vodka from her cabinet. 

“Will this do?” Regina nodded her head and took the bottle. She popped off the cork and took a swig of the vodka. “Are you going to tell me why you’re so upset?”

Regina took a deep breath. “I-I met my soulmate.” 

“The man with the lion tattoo? You found him?” Tinkerbell asked. “How? How did you two meet?” 

“You know Robin Hood?” Regina asked. Tinkerbell nodded and waited for Regina to reply but she didn’t say anything. Suddenly, Tinkerbell understood what Regina was trying to say. 

“Really? Robin Hood is the man with the lion tattoo,” Tinkerbell said. “It seems as though my pixie dust wasn’t wrong,” she added bitterly. “I just have one question for you. If you’ve found your soulmate, why are you here? Why aren’t you with him?”Regina frowned and her face fell into her hands. “You ran, again...didn’t you?” 

“I-I don’t know what to do.” 

“Regina, we’ve been through this,” Tinkerbell told her. “Go and be happy. This is your second chance. Do you realize how rare this is? Second chances don’t come around for everyone. Don’t let fear take this away from you.” 

“I-I know...Robin, he’s an amazing man, but I never thought that my soulmate would have a child,” Regina replied. “And, I love his son, Roland. But what if something happens? What if something happens between Robin and me and I lose them both. I’ve already lost Henry. If I lose Robin and Roland, I know I won’t make it.” 

“You have to stop thinking about every what-if situation,” Tinkerbell told her. “Love comes with risks. Yes, there’s a chance that your heart could get broken. But there’s also a chance that you could find the greatest love of your life and have a child again. I know that no one can replace Henry, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t love another child. Don’t let this slip through your fingers again.” 

“I-I think I already messed it up,” Regina replied quietly. “I-I left him in the tavern.” 

“Yes, I know, but this time, you can go after him.” 

“No, I did it again,” Regina explained. “I-I panicked. I was scared. I ran...again.” 

“Oh, for the love of God,” Tinkerbell groaned. “Go!” the fairy ordered. “Go back and talk to him. Go before it’s too late.” 

“Okay, you’re right,” Regina said as she stood up from Tinkerbell’s kitchen table. “Tinkerbell...I know you don’t like me, but thank you. You’ve been a real friend.” 

“You don’t have friends, remember,” Tinkerbell countered with a smirk. 

“Well, maybe I’m trying to change that,” Regina told her. “Maybe in the future, you’ll give me a second chance.” 

“We’ll see,” Tinkerbell replied. “For now, just go and get your soulmate. Go and finally be happy.” Regina gave her a nod before she left the cottage. She poofed herself back to the tavern and hurried back to the bar. However, when she got there, she saw that Robin wasn’t where she had left him. 

“Excuse, the man that was sitting at the bar here, do you know where he went?” She asked the barkeep. 

“He left,” The man replied. 

“Okay, thanks,” Regina replied sadly. Her heart sank. She was too late. Robin was gone. After everything, she had missed her shot. Not willing to just give us, Regina knew she had to find and talk to Robin. Figuring that he must have gone back to the castle, Regina headed there next. She looked around for Robin but eventually found him putting Roland to bed. She waited outside of the bedroom, not wanting to disrupt Roland. Her heart was beating a mile a minute as she waited for Robin. She watched as he tucked the little boy into bed, pressed a kiss to his forehead, and then walked towards the door. Robin opened the door and saw Regina and his face fell. “Robin, please, I can explain,” she began. Robin only shook his head and began to walk away. “Please, please give me a chance.” 

“You left me alone in that tavern, Regina.” Robin shot back. “Do you know how embarrassing that was for me to sit there by myself and wait and wait and have you never come back. I don’t even know what I did. I thought we were having a nice day.” 

“We were!” Regina cried. 

“Then, why did you run?”   
“Please, can we just sit and talk? Just give me a chance to explain,” she begged. Robin sighed. He was clearly still upset with Regina but he felt compelled to hear her out. 

“Fine,” Robin agreed. He followed Regina into a sitting room and the two of them took a seat next to the fire. There was an awkward silence between the two of them until Regina was finally able to talk. 

“I-I’m sorry that I left you in that tavern,” she began. 

“I understand that you’re sorry,” He told her. “What I don’t understand is why you did it?” Regina glanced down to Robin’s wrist and stared at the tattoo. She grabbed his hand and ran her finger over it. 

“Because of this.” 

“After all we’ve been through, you’ve decided that you don’t like me because I have a tattoo?” he questioned. 

“No, no, it’s not that,” Regina told him. “My first love, Daniel...He was killed because of me, because he loved  _ me _ .” 

“And that’s why you never wanted to open yourself up again?” he asked. 

“Tinkerbell told me it was possible,” Regina told him. “I could love again. She led me to this tavern...to a man she said I was destined to be with. I never saw his face, but I did see his tattoo.” 

“It was me?” 

“Yes,” she replied. “I was just too scared to approach you all those years ago. And tonight, when I noticed your tattoo, that same fear came back. I-I ran like I always do. Robin, I care for you so much, but I am terrified of something going wrong. I am terrified that I’ll do something to mess this up. Today was one of the best days that I have had in years...and somehow I managed to screw that up too. But I don’t want to run. I’ve been running from fate for as long as I can remember...and I don’t want to do it anymore. And I just hope that you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance?” She finished and a tear rolled down her cheek. Robin could see that she was sincere and it was no secret to him that Regina had trust issues that they’d have to work through, but he couldn’t deny his feelings for her. 

“Maybe, things work out when they’re supposed to,” Robin told her. “Maybe it’s all about timing. I was a very different man many years ago and I’m sure you were very different as well. But what matters now is the people we are today. Regina, I care for you as well and I’ve always felt that fate has been pulling us towards one another. But, you have to stop running and closing yourself off from the people around you. If there’s something that’s bothering you, I need for you to talk to me about it. I think I’ve proven myself and I’ve told you that I want to fight for this...for us. You just have to trust me enough to know that I won’t leave at the first sign of trouble. I know that you have darkness in your life, and I can assure you it’s present in my life as well, but together, I know we can find the light. Are you willing to let down a few of your walls and give me that chance?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Regina replied, a few stray tears still running down her cheeks. “I promise, I’ll be better.” Robin smiled back at her and brushed the tears from her cheeks before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her lips. The day had certainly been filled with a whirlwind of emotions, but once again, Regina and Robin were right back where they needed to be...in one another’s arms. 


	13. Chapter 13

Things had been going well for Regina and Robin since their conversation following their date. Robin seemed to understand why Regina was so guarded after learning more about her past. After getting burned by love so many times, it was understandable that she’d be so scared to pursue a relationship with him. However, by some sort of miracle, he seemed to be able to convince Regina that he was truly in this relationship for the long haul. He knew it would take a lot of reassurance and patience, but Robin was up to the challenge. He loved everything about Regina, even her faults. If there was one thing that Robin believed in, it was not giving up on the people that he loved. In general, Regina had been more open and affectionate towards him during their time alone. She was still a bit wary about being open about their relationship around the other in the kingdom, but Robin didn’t mind. He was just happy to see Regina trust him more. They had even started sharing a bedroom at night. After Roland was in bed and the castle was quiet, Robin would sneak out from his bedroom and head to Regina’s. They lie tangled in one another’s arms until they’d eventually fall into a peaceful sleep. The mornings were Robin’s favorite times. He’d often wake up before Regina and just stare down at the beautiful woman in his arms. It still didn’t feel real most of the time. If someone had told him years ago that he would have ended up falling in love with the Evil Queen, he would have laughed right in their face. However, now that he had truly gotten to know Regina, he saw what a beautiful, kind, and loving person she was. He knew now, more than ever, that he had found his soulmate, just as Tinkerbell’s pixie dust had predicted all those years ago. Fate had been trying to pull them together for years and Robin was thankful that they both had finally taken the hint. 

As time passed, the seasons began to change. The cold and snowy months were past them and spring had definitely sprung. Flowers were blooming and the sun was staying bright until the late hours of the evening. “So, what do you say, you, Roland, and I go on a picnic tomorrow?” Robin offered one day while walking along the river with Regina. 

“Oh that sounds nice...but I can’t,” she stuttered as she looked away from him. 

“Why not?”

“I-I just have to do a few things.” 

“Oh, alright. Another time then,” Robin told her. Regina bit her lip and nodded once again looking away from Robin. He could feel that there was something that Regina wasn’t telling. He knew in his gut that something was bothering her. But, he didn’t want to push her into talking into him if she clearly wasn’t ready, so Robin let the matter go. His suspicions were heightened later when Regina asked if it was alright if she could sleep alone tonight. They had slept together every night for weeks now. Something was bothering her. Robin just hoped that she’d come to him when she was ready and let him be there for her

__________

That night, Regina laid in bed, tossing and turning. “No...no...Henry...no….Ahhh!” She screamed sitting up in bed. Her chest heaved as she tried to regain control of her breathing and tears streamed down her cheeks. It had been weeks since she had a nightmare. Having Robin with her had definitely helped to quell her nightmares. However, she knew that she just needed to be alone tonight. Tomorrow was a day that she had been dreading for weeks...Mother’s Day. Just thinking of the day made her feel physically ill and she ached to just hold Henry in her arms one more time. Overall, she had been doing alright dealing with her depression. Of course, she still missed Henry but being with Robin and Roland was helping her. This day, however, was just a bit of a sore spot. That was why she had refused Robin’s proposal to go on a picnic. She knew she’d be terrible company and Robin and Roland didn’t deserve that. Also, she didn’t think she could watch father and son play happily together while her child was so far from her. Regina knew that Robin could tell that she was upset. He was the most intuitive man that she had ever met, also so quick at anticipating her needs. She knew that he’d try to make her feel better and to be honest...Regina didn’t want to feel better. She just wanted to feel sad and mourn the loss of her relationship with her son. 

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep after her nightmare, Regina tiptoed out of bed and grabbed her housecoat. She could see that the sun was just beginning to rise and decided to wander out to the gardens to think. She slipped on a pair of shoes and wrapped a coat around her before heading down the back staircase that led outside. As she opened the door, Regina could feel the chilly morning air rush at her face. She wrapped her coat around her a little tighter before walking to the gardens. When she reached the gardens, Regina saw that someone else had the same idea as her. Sitting on her favorite bench under an apple tree was Snow. “Regina?” the woman questioned. “You’re up early.” 

“Can I sit?” Snow smiled and patted the spot next to her. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Snow asked. Regina shook her head. “Neither could I.” She paused for a moment. “I miss them.” 

“So do I,” Regina answered. 

“It seems foolish to let myself feel so upset over this holiday,” Snow replied. “Besides I was barely a mother…” That comment hit Regina hard. Sure, she was upset about not being with Henry this year, but at least she had memories with him. She had handmade cards and memories of breakfast in bed. Sure, it had only been cereal, considering Henry was much too young to use the stove but she loved it no less. Snow didn’t have any of that and it was her fault. 

“Snow...I-I-” Regina stuttered. 

“It’s fine,” Snow interjected. “I forgave you a while ago. We were both very different people back then and if you hadn’t done what you did, we wouldn’t have Henry. I-I just think about what it might have been like if I got to be there for Emma’s childhood. I think about all the nights I would have spent holding her as a baby in her nursery and watching her take her first steps. I just think about what it would have been like to watch her grow. I would have even endured those painful rebellious teenage years to get the chance to be her mother. It’s just hard that I never got the chance to experience those moments…” 

Regina’s eyes welled up with tears as she listened to Snow talk. For months, Snow had been by her side, trying to help her to deal with her grief over losing Henry. However, Regina had never stopped to think about how much Snow was hurting herself. She didn’t have the fond memories with Emma that Regina did with Henry. The time that Emma and Snow did have together was so short and completely overtaken by all of the fighting and their time in Neverland. 

“I am truly sorry that I took those moments from you,” Regina began softly. “I am sorry that you never got to be the mother that you wanted to be. Now more than ever, I realize how important a bond between a mother and child is and I’m sorry that you didn’t get to have that with Emma. I-I guess I just don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I know that nothing I can ever do will make up for all that you’ve lost.” 

“And, I appreciate that,” Snow told her. “But I didn’t say those things to make you feel bad. I know that you’re sorry. And I also know how much you’re hurting today too.” 

“I just miss him so much,” Regina confessed. “I’ve really tried to be happy...today is just hard.” 

“I completely understand,” Snow replied as she laid a comforting hand on Regina’s shoulder. “What do you think they’re doing today?” 

“I’m not sure… but I hope that Henry made Emma breakfast this morning. God, I hope he didn’t touch the stove. I know he’s nearly twelve now, but that boy will burn down the house. And I’m sure he made her a homemade card….he always did that for me. Whatever they’re doing, I hope that they’re happy.” 

“Me too,” Snow agreed. “Regina, can I ask you something?” 

“Sure,” the brunette replied. 

“Have you ever thought about starting over? About trying to have another child?” Snow asked. 

“No, Henry was my child...is my only child,” Regina replied harshly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Snow interjected. “It’s just...David and I, we’ve been talking about maybe trying for another baby.” 

“That makes it sound like you’re giving up on ever getting back to Henry and Emma,” Regina retorted. 

“Regina, you of all people know that the chances of that are slim to none. Of course, I would give anything to be back with them but I also don’t want to miss a chance to really be a mother now,” Snow replied. 

“Well, I’m not giving up…” Regina retorted as she stood up from the bench with her arms crossed. “You do what you want but I won’t ever give up on Henry. He is and always will be my only child.” Feeling her emotions begin to overwhelm her, Regina took off for the castle, leaving Snow behind in the garden. 

______________________

From up on a nearby hill, Robin, who had been on guard last night, saw the exchange between the two women and knew something must be wrong. He walked down the hill and approached Snow, who was still sitting on the bench. “Princess...everything alright? ” 

“Oh Robin,” she sniffed. “I-I didn’t see you there,” she added, frantically trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. 

“I saw Regina run off. Also, you’re upset so clearly something happened,” Robin told her. 

“I-It’s just a hard day for both of us,” Snow told him. Robin thought about it for a moment and then he realized it was mother’s day. Suddenly, everything clicked. He understood why Regina had been so distant. Ever since Marian’s death, Robin never felt the need to celebrate. Roland didn’t remember his mother and it was too painful for Robin to think about. “I think I set her off even more. David and I are thinking about having another baby and I told her about it...she just got so upset.”

“I’ll go and talk to her,” Robin assured her. “I’m sorry this day is hard for you, Princess. If there’s anything I can do, just say the word.” 

“Just take care of Regina,” Snow replied. Robin gave her a smile before heading up to the castle. He went up the back staircase and tried to open up the door, but it was locked. 

“Regina....it’s just me, open up.” Nothing. Robin, always the thief, pulled out his knife and used it to try and pick the lock. However, it didn’t work. To that day, Robin had never met a lock that he couldn’t pick. He figured that Regina must have sealed the door by magic. He headed back down the staircase and looked around. Just a few stories up was an open window. “She may have sealed the doors, but she didn’t seal the windows,” he muttered to himself. Along, the castle wall was a fence covered in green ivy. Robin planted his foot into one of the holes and used it to climb up the wall until he reached the open window. He looked in the window and saw Regina lying on her bed crying. Hearing footsteps behind her, Regina sat up and looked over at her window. 

“I-I sealed the d-doors f-for a reason,” she cried.

“Well I was never one to let a locked door stop me,” Robin replied softly. 

“I-I’m really n-not up for a pep talk right now,” Regina sobbed. 

“That’s not what I’m here for,” the thief replied as he walked towards Regina. He motioned for Regina to scoot over and sat down on the bed next to her. “I know that losing Henry has been hard for you. Anyone who loses a child has the right to mourn that relationship. I know that this is not you letting the darkness win. You have the right to be sad sometimes. Just know I’m here for you. I’m not here to try and stop you from being sad. I’m just here to show you that you’re not alone.” 

“Oh, Robin,” Regina cried as she dove into his arms. Robin held her tightly and ran his fingers through her curly hair. 

“Shh, Shh, It’s alright. I’m here,” Robin whispered as he placed a kiss to the top of her head. He held her as she cried for a long time before Regina’s sobs finally quieted. “Do you want to tell me about him?” 

“What?”

“Henry. Tell me what he was like,” Robin asked. “Only if you want to of course. But, I’m sure that any boy raised by you must have been a pretty great one.” 

“Henry is the one...the only good thing that I’ve had in my whole life,” Regina told Robin. “He’s the most kind, caring, determined, loyal person that I have met in my entire life. Every mother’s day, he’d wake me up just as the sun was beginning to shine. He always tried to make me breakfast. Often, it was just a bowl of cereal and maybe an apple or banana. I wouldn’t let him touch the stove. One year, I did get a burnt piece of toast which I ate every bite of. It tasted like charcoal but Henry was so proud of himself, I couldn’t bear to upset him.” 

“He sounds like quite a boy,” Robin told her. “Not much of a cook though,” he laughed. 

“No, definitely not,” Regina agreed. 

“Tell me more, love,” he coaxed. He loved seeing a smile on Regina’s face after watching her cry for so long. They spent most of the day just talking. Robin was there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on and laughed with her when she shared all of the good memories that she had of Henry. It hadn’t been an ideal mother’s day, but it was what she needed. For so long, she had bottled up her memories of Henry, trying to keep them only for herself. Sharing the good times made her remember why she had sent Henry away with Emma in the first place. She did it because she loved him and she knew that he loved her in return. He may not remember her now, but that was okay. Regina would remember for the both of them. When it got late, Robin stayed with Regina and held her close to him. 

“Regina, can I ask you something?” Robin whispered. 

“It’s late. I’m tired, so make it quick,” Regina mumbled as sleep threatened to overtake her. 

“Earlier in the gardens, I saw Snow and she was very upset. She said that she told you about her and David trying for another baby and you didn’t take it very well.” 

“I don’t hear a question,” Regina shot back. 

“I guess I was just wondering why that would bother you so much.”   
“I-I-...Oh, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Hey, don’t do that,” Robin coaxed as he rubbed a comforting hand up and down on her back. “It’s just me. With me, you don’t have to hold things in.” Regina rolled over so that she could meet Robin’s eyes. 

“I’m not mad at Snow,” Regina said. “She and David have every right to try and have a baby. I stole their opportunity to be parents before...I-I’m mad at me.” 

“Because you took that from them?” Robin asked, trying his best to understand. 

“Partly,” she told him. “In the past, I-I made a mistake and because of it, I won’t ever be able to have a child. I-I don’t want another child anyway...I’ll never replace Henry. I don’t know why what Snow said upset me so much...it-it just did. Can-can we not talk about this? I’m tired.” 

“Of course, milady,” Robin told her. He didn’t want to force Regina to talk about something that was clearly very painful for her. “Regina...just one thing. Even if you can’t have another child of your own, it doesn’t mean you can’t love another child. I’ve never met your Henry, but from what you tell me, I know that he wouldn’t want you to be alone. He wouldn’t want you not to love others simply because you can’t be with him. Giving birth to a child doesn’t make it yours, it’s everything that comes after that does. I know you of all people know that to be true.”

Regina didn’t reply. She rolled over and cuddled herself under the covers. Though she didn’t want to admit it, she knew that Robin was right. Henry would want her to be happy. He would want her to be loved by as many people as possible and be happy, even if she wasn’t with him. It had been a big step to let Robin see her heart, now she just needed to let others in as well. “Robin…”   
“Yes, love?” he answered

“I think I’d like to take you up on your offer to go on that picnic with you and Roland...if the invitation is still open.”   
“For you, the invitation is always open. Now, go to sleep. Morning will be here before you know it,” Robin told her. “Roland is always so full of energy. You’ll need all the sleep you can get if you plan on keeping up with him tomorrow.” 

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” Regina told him. “After all, a mother always does what it takes to make a child happy.” Robin couldn’t help but smile. It was clear that Regina was coming around. She was finally understanding that even without Henry by her side, she was still a mother and she was capable of loving as many people as she opened her heart too. 


End file.
